My Unwanted Son
by I'll Cover Angel and Collins
Summary: Chris gets a disturbing letter finding out that Zeke is in fact his son! Guess who's raising him now and just wait until you see Chris's parenting skills and how Zeke will manage to annoy Chris! R
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I own nothing so you can't sue!

Chris was sitting in his VIP section of the plane, He loved being the host as he could do whatever he wanted, and He loved having his own "Suite" on the plane. Chef barged in while Chris was in his hot tub.

"You have a letter" Chef threw it at him "I think it's important, I couldn't read it all even after holding it to the light"

"Fan mail?" Chris laughed "I bet it's from some crazy fan! Shred it with the rest"

"I'm telling you its important" Chef told him "It came in a big envelope which means it's important or a bomb!"

"Fine, Gimmie it" Chris grabbed the envelope and opened it

_Dear Chris, _

_I'm not sure if you remember me or not because you were drunk that night, But I wanted to let you know that I don't appreciate you harming all those poor Children on your show let alone your son, Yes I said it, Your son, I think you should know that I don't appreciate you tossing him out of the plane, I also decided that since he's in your care now you can keep him as it may do you both some good, I decided to join the circus and he's freaky enough the way it is! I don't want him to hang out with Circus folk, Don't believe me he's your son? Well I worked the Gemmy awards backstage and I took the glass of water you were drinking and I got a DNA test which proves that you are the father! You'll also find a copy of that enclosed in this envelope, What should have been the real eye opener for you thought was the last name, He does have your last name which he used to fill out the form to join the show, Though I'm doubting you read that since you don't seem to care and he's too stupid to figure it out, The man who was his stepdad walked out on us because he didn't support my dream of joining the circus, Oh well it doesn't matter because you're going to raise him now. So enjoy your new Problem and Son._

_P.S. _

_I hate you for not paying child support and becoming a millionaire while I pretty much had nothing except a bean stalk which you cannot climb to meet giants who have golden eggs. _

_Arlene_

"So, Is it important?" Chef asked

"Oh great!" Chris yelled "I have a son, Who I'm stuck with and he's on my show!" Chef laughed

"Who is it?" Chef asked

"Ezekiel" Chris cried "Why me!"

"I guess you should go tell him" Chef laughed "Go on! Go tell him Daddy's here!"

"Shut up!" Chris whined as he went to go find Ezekiel

"Look on the Brightside!" Chef laughed "You know your baby boy is hiding with the cargo!"


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own anything thus you cannot sue! I don't even own Arlene as she will not even be in this story except for maybe a letter or two! Arlene was just a random name that I thought of in 2 minutes for Zeke's mom!

A/N: Thank you guys for all the positive reviews! I'm glad you like the story! So since the first chapter was rather short I figured I owe you chapter 2 pretty quickly! Keep on Reviewing! Reviews make me happier then Sierra in the presence of Cody!

Chris stormed out of his private suite cursing at Chef the entire time until he got out the door; He just wasn't in the mood for this, He just wanted to tell the kid and the figure out what the hell to do with him!

"I hate kids!" Chris yelled "Especially him! I don't know how many times I tossed him out of the plane 3 times yesterday! I don't even know how that weirdo keeps getting back in!"

He was so busy ranting to himself and stopping by every mirror to look at how good he looked that day he didn't even realize he walked into Courtney and Harold who were in his way and trying to get his attention

"Watch where you're going!" Chris yelled as he walked in to the 2 of them.

"Chris!" Courtney yelled "You need to tell Harold to take his mad skills and go somewhere else not near me!"

"Gosh!" Harold yelled "I was there first! You came in and started yelling!"

"No, I did not!" Courtney yelled "I was sitting down at the table in loser class and then I was doing some studying for school for when I get back home and then Harold came over and started talking about really gross things! Then he sneezed all over my book and got snot on it! If I get sick you better have some decent medical staff on call Chris! This will be your fault if I get sick! What are you going to do about HIM!"

Chris thought about it for a minute and then he realized something in between Harold's nasally breathing

"Wait a second…."Chris glared "Did you say you were sitting in the loser class?"

"Yes, I just told you that!" Courtney yelled "And then he sneezed all on my book and got-" Chris interrupted her

"Yeah, I know snot all over your book" Chris sighed not really caring "But, My question is why were you even in loser class? Your team won so you shouldn't have even been in there"

"Uh….Huh?" Courtney sighed "I..I..That's not the point!"

"Well since you were in an area where Harold was supposed to be anyway" Chris told her "I'm not doing anything about it, Just go back to whatever you were doing and DON'T bother me! I have more important things I need to do!"

Chris then shooed them both away as he went to the Cargo area to look for this damn kid who at this point looks still semi Normal just a tad bit hungry and looking a little bit pale from being in the cargo for about 3 weeks.

"Ezekiel" Chris yelled "Come here for a second! I want to talk to you!"

No response

"Zeke?" Chris sighed "C'mon I know your hiding in here! It's not a secret!"

No Response

"Oh C'mon!" Chris yelled "I swear! I'm not going to toss you out of the plane! Just come out here! If you come out…I'll um….Have Chef make you whatever you want to eat…Some good food, Not the crap the others are eating and uh…I bet you could probably use a hot shower or something…."

"Eh?" Zeke stepped out from behind some crates

"Ha!" Chris laughed "I knew you were still in here! Mad props to me for being that awesome!"

Zeke just glared at him

"Don't glare at me!" Chris yelled "I meant it! I'll get you a sandwich or something!"

"So can I come back into the game, Eh?" Zeke happily asked

"Uh….No!" Chris laughed "You're the worst player in history! That's why I threw you out like….17 times! You can't just live on the plane!"

"Oh" Zeke just said "I didn't know"

"How do you not know?" Chris glared "You got tossed off so many times! You should know you need to GET OFF MY PLANE!"

"Cool" Zeke told him "I'm just determined" Chris sighed

"Well Uh…That's not what I wanted to tell you" Chris left out another sigh "What's your mothers name?"

"Mom" Zeke told him "Obviously"

"What's her name Zeke!" Chris yelled "Not what you call her!"

"Her name is Mom, Yo!" Zeke told him "I swear!"

"Reaaaalllly?" Chris asked Zeke annoyed "So you go out in public and everyone calls her mom?"

"Well…I think so" Zeke told him "I always called her mom, so yeah! Her name is mom"

"This is going nowhere" Chris sighed "Zeke, What's your last name?"

"I forgot" Zeke told him "Sometimes I forget because when I was homeschooled so I never had to write my last name on the paper"

"Can you read?" Chris sighed as he started slamming his head on the plane wall "Please, Say you can read….This would make it all so easier"

"I can read" Zeke told him "I was the best reader in my class!"

"Weren't you homeschooled?" Chris asked

"Yes!" Zeke happily told him and Chris just shook his head

"Here" Chris handed him the envelope "Read that"

Zeke then read the letter and everything in the envelope and he read it and started sobbing

"MOMMY!" Zeke sobbed "HOW COULD YOU!"

"Uh…It's going to be okay…." Chris tried to comfort him "I don't remember her but I'm sure this was a hard choice for her to make…."

"It's not even that!" Zeke sobbed more "Why the Circus! She knows I have a fear of clowns, Eh!"

"Oh wow…." Chris took the letter back from him "Well you have one parent, I'm stuck raising you I guess, Not that I want to or anything, But do you realize how bad that would look if the press found out?"

"You're my parent!" Zeke yelled "That's so awesome!"

"Yeah!" Chris told him "You're totally lucky! You have this amazingly hot dad and he's totally famous!"

"No, Not that!" Zeke smiled "If you're my dad then that means you have to let me back in the game!"

"Hahahaha!" Chris laughed "That doesn't mean anything! Just because I'm stuck with you until you turn 18 doesn't mean I'm stuck with you on my show!"

"Eh?" Zeke glared "That's not fair though! What kind of parent won't let his kid on his show?"

"The kind of parent who finds his kid annoying" Chris told him "That means you'll have to do the drop of shame all over again! Only this time you're not going to come back on the plane and I'll give you a key or something to one of my houses and you can just stay there or something"

"No!" Zeke yelled "Just let me stay! I'm in it to win it!"

"Listen" Chris glared "You can stay all you want but you're still not in this game and THAT'S FINAL!"

"Whatever!" Zeke crossed his arms "I hate you!"

"Fine!" Chris also crossed his arms "Oh, Get out of the cargo area! Its dirty back here! If you're going to stay at least act normal!"

"Okay!" Zeke yelled "Don't tell me what to do!"

"Well I'm going back to hosting" Chris told him "You have 10 minutes to get your ass on the plane and not live in the Cargo area which you are now banned from!"

"That's not fair!" Zeke yelled as Chris just ignored him and walked away

"God" Chris sighed as he walked out "He must have gotten his bad looks from his mother! I must have been drunk as hell"


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I own Nothing!

A/N: I'm surprised with how many of you like this story! Thanks for the support, Keep on reviewing, as long as reviews make me happier then Sierra in the presence of Cody!

Zeke packed up everything that he had with him in the cargo, Which actually wasn't much…In fact it wasn't anything, He lost all his things every time Chris threw him from the plane until he was at the point where he owned nothing except the clothes on his body. Zeke was starting to hate his new dad for the fact that he only knew he was his son for 10 minutes and he already started making rules that Zeke didn't like. Being as Zeke had nothing he just walked out of the Cargo and decided to sit there and attempt to get to know these people who never really liked him to begin with. They all just stared at him with the Exception of a few of them who apparently didn't care.

"Hey Guys!" Zeke said as he sat down and looked at them

"Didn't you get voted off?" Noah glared "Why are you still here?"

"I was hiding in the cargo?" Zeke looked confused "I'm in this game to win it"

"Why would you want to be in this game?" Duncan looked at him "I hate this stupid game!"

"So, does this mean that you'll be joining us in the game?" Alejandro sighed as he looked at himself in the mirror "How did you even manage to get in here without getting kicked out?"

Before Zeke could even say anything Courtney heard the news Zeke was here and freaked out

"Why is he here?" Courtney demanded "He got shoved out of the plane like 3 times! This is unacceptable! Do you get to rejoin the game? You better not be rejoining this game! This is so not fair! I'm telling Chris you're here so prepare to get tossed off again!"

"Eh?" Zeke looked at her confused "Why?"

"Why what!" Courtney screamed "I don't understand the question!"

"Me neither!" Zeke sighed "What's wrong with you?" This statement caused snickers from everyone

"What's wrong with me?" Courtney yelled "What's wrong with you!"

"Courtney, Cut him some slack!" Gwen told her "Who knows why he's still here? It's not like he ever lasts long anyway….."

"Zeke, what exactly are you doing on the plane anyway?" Heather asked "I mean with us, normally you just hide out in the cargo"

"I got banned from there" Zeke said as he stuck his finger up his nose and left it there "Yeah, it was depressing!"

"What kind of idiot gets banned from the cargo?" Heather demanded to know "Where is Chris! This is obviously an issue!"

"What do you want?" Chris said standing in the doorway "Courtney, I can hear your mouth all throughout the plane! "

"Well It's not my fault" Courtney said "Zeke, came out of his Cargo area and started bothering everyone and if he thinks he's playing the game again he's wrong! Right Chris?"

"That is Correct" Chris told her "Zeke, is not playing in this game anymore"

"TOLD YOU!" Courtney yelled "So throw him off!"

"My own dad wouldn't throw me off the plane, Eh!" Zeke hid behind Chris scared of Courtney and Chef's laughter could be heard all throughout the plane

"What are you hiding behind me for?" Chris shoved him away "I can't protect you from everything! I can barely protect myself let alone you!"

"Did Zeke just say what I think he said?" Sierra asked as she was rapidly typing on her blog "Your Chris's son! The world must know!"

"Dammit!" Chris yelled "Now the world will know! Sierra you better not!" 

"Oops" Sierra giggled "Uh…I think it's too late"

"Relax Chris" Noah told him "How many people read her blog anyway?"

"Exactly 15,763" Sierra smiled

"Sierra!" Chris yelled "You're ruining my life! Hasn't' my life been ruined enough for one day?"

"So….How did you NOT know he was your son?" Duncan asked "One night stand?" Duncan Laughed and Chris glared as Zeke stood there with his finger in his nose

"Get your fingers out of your nose!" Chris glared at Zeke and grabbed his arm making him take his finger out "What is wrong with you?" Various giggles can be heard from the cast

"Eh?" Zeke looked at Chris "So are we going to Co-host the show?"

"HELL NO!" Chris yelled "When I'm filming the show you stay on the plane!"

"You never let me go anywhere!" Zeke yelled as he stuck his finger in his nose yet again

"I NEVER LET YOU GO ANYWHERE BECAUSE YOU HAVE THE STREET SMARTS OF A 2 YEAR OLD!" Chris yelled "AND GET YOUR FINGERS OUTTA YOUR NOSE!"

"This is just too funny…." Noah broke the silence laughing

"Okay, Heres what were going to do" Chris explained "Next person to make a comment about this gets tossed out of the plane, Next person to start an argument with him that I'll most likely have to deal with gets thrown out of the plane, Next person to say ANYTHING at all that is not in the confessional gets tossed from the plane! I can't deal with this shit!"

"Can we pass notes?" DJ asked getting a paper and pen ready

"What about Texting?" Lashawna asked

"Mind Reading?" Lindsay asked

"Flying unicycles?" Zeke asked and Chris just glared at him

"I don't care!" Chris yelled "As long as it doesn't make noise then do whatever you want….Except you…No Flying unicycles!"

"How long must we remain silent?" Alejandro asked "I must discuss something with my team and I feel that as long as it strategic it should be allowed"

"Do you wanna get thrown off this plane?" Chris glared "Everyone is going to shut up until we get there which should be tomorrow afternoon at some point….It's like 9:03pm so shut up and sleep or something….Sierra fix you're blog! I want all that gone by tomorrow! You better tell them it's false!"

"That would be lying though" Sierra told him "The public has a right to know!...Oh and Chris…My mother is unhappy with you for having a son!"

"Whatever" Chris sighed as he left them all to do whatever "Don't bother me! I'm going to bed"

Chris was having a horrible day he honestly could care less if they all jumped out of the damn plane and the show just ended this was all so horrible, That's to Sierra his fan base now knew that he had a son and that it happened to be Ezekiel who was really starting to get on his nerves, He was still trying to figure out what he was going to do with this kid after the show ended, He could always let Zeke live in one of his houses and he could live in a completely different one maybe in a completely different state but he didn't exactly trust Zeke with stoves or electricity or plumbing or sharp objects or anything of any kind. Chris just wanted to go to bed now, He really wanted to think this was a horrible dream that he just couldn't wake up from.

**KNOCK **

**KNOCK**

**KNOCK**

"I thought I told them not to bother me…." Chris sighed "GO AWAY!"

"Mr. Chris Dad Dude Sir?" Zeke responded from the other side of the door "Can I come in Eh?"

"No!" Chris told him "I'm trying to sleep!"

"Please?" Zeke asked "I washed my hands…."

"No!" Chris yelled "I said I didn't want to be bothered!"

"Yeah, you told the cast not to bother you Eh!" Zeke told him "You never said anything about your son!"

"Fine, whatever get in here" Chris told Zeke as he sighed knowing that kid wasn't going to go anywhere and not even a second later Zeke happily strolled in "So, What the hell did you want to come in here for?"

"I don't really know" Zeke told him as he climbed on the bed and sat with Chris as Chris stared awkwardly "I just wanted to….Talk or something"

"Dude, get off my bed" Chris told him "This is just weird, if this was any other contestant then I would be in major trouble"

"Hey, Can I sleep here?" Zeke asked completely ignoring Chris "Then maybe tomorrow or something Chef can get me a bedroom or something eh?"

"No, you can't sleep here" Chris told him "This is MY room! Just because you don't have one doesn't mean you can come in here and sleep in my room on my bed"

"Then get me a bed" Zeke told him "For like….Snoozing"

"I know what a bed is for" Chris sighed "If I knew I had a son I would have been more prepared"

"You should have seen a psychic" Zeke told him "Then you would have known…."

"If I knew I had a son I would have left him at home!" Chris yelled "He wouldn't be on the show, He would be at home waiting for me to get back….or something! But not here! So it's not my fault that you don't have a bedroom here!"

"Your bed is soft" Zeke said taking side next to Chris "I like it"

"Good, I'll get you one" Chris told him "Get out of mine! You better not fall asleep!"

_Silence _

"Zeke?" Chris nudged him

_Silence _

"Ezekiel?" Chris nudged him again "Did you fall asleep in my bed...C'mon! You smell bad; tell me you didn't fall asleep in my bed! Did you fall asleep in my bed?"

"Yes" Ezekiel replied as he made himself comfy

"YOU'RE NOT SLEEPING!" Chris yelled "You just answered me!"

"Uh….I talk…In my sleep…eh.." Zeke started to pretend to snore "Cabbage….."

"C'mon!" Chris sighed "You're totally awake and Cabbage has nothing to do with this situation!"

_More Silence _

"Whatever" Chris gave up and turned off his lamp "I'm going to sleep!"

Chris then closed his eyes realizing he was pretty much defeated on this one, He knew he should have locked that door and never left him in the room in the first place.

"Chris?" Zeke asked a few minutes later "Mr. Chris Dad guy?"

"What!" Chris asked annoyed "I thought you were sleeping!"

"Tell me a bedtime story?" Zeke asked "Please?"

"No!" Chris told him "Go to sleep"

"I can't sleep without one!" Zeke told him

"Tell yourself one" Chris told him "Only in your head…."

"Can't you just tell me a story?" Zeke begged "It's like your job!"

"I'm a host" Chris told him "Not a storyteller"

"But you're a father first" Zeke told him

"Nope, Still a host first" Chris informed him "It goes Host, Hot Bachelor ,Celebrity, Actor, Dog lover, Cat Lover, internet whiz, Cook, Undercover Cop, Ghost hunter, Gardener, Awesome, Professional swimmer, Bowler, Golfer, Pilot and then Parent"

"Some of those are the same thing" Zeke reminded him "Besides you're not doing any of the following right now…so it must be parent time eh? Story?"

"Finnneeeee" Chris hissed "Once upon a time we were all on a plane and then everyone crashed and fell into a volcano and there were no survivors because I purposely made them throw Pineapples in it knowing very well that it would erupt, Nobody survived so I got to keep the million dollars and I was very happy and I flew off on a unicorn and a suitcase full of money THE END"

_Silence _

Chris figured Zeke finally went to sleep or the story freaked him out and he decided to shut up, Chris laid there for 10 minutes almost asleep

"BEST. !" Zeke happily told him as Chris decided HE was going to ignore Zeke, He looked at the clock and saw it was 12:17am and he had enough of this already.

"Tomorrow, He gets his own Room" Chris mumbled to himself as he went to sleep finally.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I don't own anything! Thus I cannot be sued, I own about as much as Zeke when he lived in the Cargo!

A/N: I would just like to say that you guys are seriously the best! As long as you keep reviewing I'll be writing! Seriously, your reviews make me so happy I just couldn't help but update this again for you! I think I've updated it every day since I started, I'm really glad you guys are enjoying this!

Before we begin this chapter I would like to ask you guys something, consider this a spoiler for you! I do have plans of having Zeke and Chris move into one of the many houses that Chris owns and I was thinking about having Chris enroll Zeke in public school and Hiring a few of the cast members to be live in hired help by the family. I only want about 5 cast members and Chef to live there. This is my plan so far for sure.

**Chef- Will be the live in cook, meaning whenever you want food and it's not meal time you call his room **

**Duncan- Will be hired to be the Family bodyguard for when they go to events, He will also be attending school with Zeke. **

**Noah- Will go back to being Chris's personal assistant meaning he will also get to deal with Zeke. **

**Duncan and Noah will also be living there but they still drive home to see their families. **

I'm going to throw 3 more cast members in to have them do some kind of job that they would be able to live in the house and do, So that's what I want to run by you guys! Who would you like to see at this house and what Job could they do? Also I'd like your honest opinion about the Noah, Duncan and Chef thing, I think it's a good idea and I pretty much know how I plan to do it but I want to make sure you guys my lovely viewers want more Duncan and Noah! So lemme know in a review or a message!

On with the story of insanity!

The next morning Chris woke up and thought his nightmare was over and this was all a dream, that is until he remembered that Zeke spent the night in his room and he sighed and got out of bed leaving Zeke sleeping

"I need Coffee" Chris sighed as he walked into his personal kitchen area where Chef was already making his breakfast "He spent the night in my room….."

Chef laughed as he handed Chris his plate of Bacon and Eggs and his Coffee "That's priceless! Did he take it well?"

"He's too stupid not to!" Chris sighed "Why couldn't I have a hot daughter or something, He keeps putting his fingers in his nose!"

"Yeah!" Chef agreed "At least if you had a dumb hot daughter….at least I would like that more!"

"Well his nose picking has to stop!" Chris yelled "I mean, it's not like I'm going to take him anywhere but I guess I do have to take care of this kid!"

"So you taking him back to your house?" Chef asked laughing "You actually gonna live with him?"

"Do I have a choice?" Chris glared "He's 16 and he kinda fails at everything…"

"You can't work the toaster!" Chef told him "You don't even know how to plug it in!"

"Your point?" Chris asked "I'm too hot to cook! That's why you work for me!"

"Do you want me to beat you with something?" Chef glared "I'm hot!"

"I just don't know what he wants me to do!" Chris sighed "He wants me to do things! Like be a parent!"

"Well I don't know what to tell you!" Chef told him "It's not my problem! I have no children"

Chris just glared

"Listen, We have a Challenge to do" Chris told him "So, you gonna help me with it or not?"

"Don't you want me to make that kid breakfast?" Chef asked

"No!" Chris told him "He can wait until the damn challenge starts! Now C'mon Chefy my boy! We have rocks to throw at Minors!"

"Hmmmmm" Chef thought "Breakfast? Or Throwing Rocks at the kids….Rocks it is!"

"Don't forget later to get a bed or something for that kid" Chris reminded him on the way out "He's not sleeping with me another night…."

Chris decided to let Zeke sleep as he was not in his way, He figured he would start the challenge as soon as humanly possible so he made them all hurry out of the plane, Once he got them out of the plane he quickly decided to explain the challenge

"Okay, Today were…well it doesn't matter! But it's sandy so it's hot as I'm sure you noticed, you're going to run through the sand and jump into piles of quicksand to get some kind of immunity necklace whoever gets it has immunity for next time there team gets voted off and whoever finds the necklace thing will have the whole team in first class with them….Get it? Now go!"

"Wait!" Courtney yelled "I have a question!"

"What!" Chris yelled "I don't understand why you would, I just explained everything!"

"What happens if we fall in?" Cody asked interrupting Courtney "Like, will you come and save us?"

"Probably not" Chris told him "If you fall in and we can't find you that means you're out, So I'm actually hoping that at least 5 of you fall in with that being said I would like to remind you all th-"

"Hey Dad" Zeke came out of the plane "What's going on?"

"Not now!" Chris yelled "I'm trying to host the show now!"

"Oh" Zeke looked around "When?"

"Now" Chris told him "See the cameras?"

"Yeah, Okay" Zeke agreed "Why?"

"Why what?" Chris started getting annoyed

"Why are you filming the show?" Zeke asked

"To make money" Chris told him "Do you want to live on the streets?"

"ENOUGH OF THIS!" Courtney yelled "Can you please finish what you were saying so we can start!"

"Yes, I can" Chris calmed down "As I was saying, I would like to remind you that you are all under contract meaning that if Chef hits you with a giant rock or you fall into—"

"Hey, Mr. Host dad guy!" Zeke interrupted again "Can I play too?"

"No" Chris told him "Go wait in the plane, I'm busy"

"Fine" Zeke sighed "Can I go an-"

"Do whatever you want" Chris told him "I'll be in after I finish explaining the rules!"

"What's with you and rules?" Zeke mumbled as he walked into the plane and slammed the door

"Can we start NOW" Heather sighed "I really just want to get this over with"

"Yeah, Sure" Chris told them as they all started running to do whatever they felt necessary to do to win, Chris told Chef to start throwing rocks at the kids when they got close to the quicksand

"You're not gonna watch?" Chef asked "You usually get a thrill outta this"

"I know" Chris laughed "I'll be back! Gimmie like 5 minutes, I'm gonna show the kid where the TV is so he'll stay outta my stuff and I'll be back to throw some rocks!"

"You got it" Chef told him "Man, I love this job!"

Chris then stepped into the plane to go check up on Zeke, He had no clue why he felt the urge to care what Zeke was doing, He guessed it had something to do with the fact that he was a parent, not a very good one but he thought for being a father for 24 hours he was doing pretty damn good, He didn't have to change diapers or teach him how to walk or talk so he figured he was doing really well.

"Zeke?" Chris asked "Where the hell did you go now?"

"In here, Eh!" Zeke yelled to him

"In where?" Chris yelled "You better not be in my private room that is off limits to anyone except me!"

"What room is that?" Zeke yelled "Is it the room with the nice bathtub?"

"Bathtub?" Chris asked confused "YOU BETTER NOT BE IN MY HOT TUB! I'M COMING IN NOW AND I BETTER NOT SEE YOU IN IT!"

Sure enough Chris walked in and there was Zeke in his expensive hot tub filled with bubble, there were bubbles over flowing on to the floor and there was Zeke sitting in it playing with a rubber duck and a toy sail boat.

"What did I just say?" Chris yelled "I said you better not be in my hot tub!"

"This is the bathtub!" Zeke defended himself "I came in here to take a bath eh, you should really knock"

"First of all" Chris told him "This is MY hot tub and I'm kinda pissed that you're naked in my hot tub but why the bubbles! And who gave you permission to play with my duck and boat?"

Chris then grabbed the duck and boat from Zeke and put them back on the shelf and just glared at Zeke as Zeke continued to take a bath

"At least you didn't touch my shark…." Chris mumbled to himself "He's my favorite"

"So, are you gonna like leave?" Zeke asked "I would like to finish taking a bath in peace"

"No!" Chris yelled "Get out! Do you have any idea how long this is gonna take Chef to clean?"

"No" Zeke told him "Can I get a Towel and maybe some bacon?"

"No Food" Chris told him "Chef is outside with the contestants" Chris handed him the towel and turned around not wanting to see a naked Zeke get out of his hot tub

"But, I'm hungry" Zeke complained now wearing Pajama's "Okay, I'm dressed"

Chris turned around and yet again glared at Zeke

"Why did you have to wear MY pajamas?" Chris whined "Couldn't you just steal some from someone else's suitcase? I think Cody's would fit you"

"I already looked" Zeke told him "Sierra, She got there first"

"Whatever" Chris told Zeke "That's another thing to do, get you some clothes, I told Chef to get you a bed and stuff so you should have that tonight"

"Cool" Zeke told him as they made their way to the kitchen area "Can you make me food?"

"No" Chris told him "Don't you know how to?"

"No" Zeke admitted "My mom used to always make my food, and cut the crust off my sandwich"

"Well Chef's not here so I guess you'll have to wait until he gets back" Chris told him

"Don't you cook?" Zeke asked

"No" Chris told him "That's not my job! That's what Chef is here for!"

"Can you like get me some cereal or something?" Zeke asked

"I dunno" Chris told him "I never made cereal before"

"Me neither!" Zeke admitted "I know! Lets like try to make some together!"

"Okay!" Chris agreed in attempt to bond with his son "I'll go grab the blender"

"No!" Zeke told him grabbing a box of Cereal "It says Cinnamon Toast Crunch"

"Ohhhhh!" Chris realized "I get it! Forget the blender, I'll get the toaster so we can toast it!"

"I'll plug it in!" Zeke happily offered to help "Dude, where should I put the toaster?"

"Uh…In the sink?" Chris suggested

"But there's dirty dishes in the sink" Zeke told him "And water! Won't that make the cereal soggy?"

"Uh….I dunno" Chris told him "I'm new to this food making, But I think the Toaster would float! So yeah put it in the water and let's start making some Cereal!"

"That Chef guy would be so proud!" Zeke happily told Chris as he agreed

"I know!" Chris happily agreed "I want to push the start button!"

"No, I do!" Zeke yelled pushing Chris away

"Dude, Not Cool" Chris pushed him back "I'm the parent so I get to push the button!"

"I wanna push it" Zeke insisted "C'mon!"

"Okay, I'll be the good parent" Chris decided "Lets push it together"

Just then Chef walked in at the perfect time to stop this horrible accident waiting to happen

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU GUYS DOING?" Chef yelled

"Making Breakfast" Both of them said taking their hands off the toaster button

"GET OUT!" Chef yelled "You go and host your show and get them back on the plane!" Chef yelled at Chris

"Who even won?" Chris asked not caring he almost killed himself and Zeke

"That Tyler kid" Chef told him "He was surprisingly good at this"

"Did anyone die?" Chris asked happily

"Except for you 2 idiots who almost died…." Chef told him "No, Just you 2 being a safety hazard"

"Did anyone fall in?" Chris asked still amused

"Heather and Noah" Chef told him "But Alejandro saved Heather and Owen pulled Noah out"

"Damn it" Chris seemed unhappy "I guess I should go congratulate Tyler, At least I get to toss someone out of the plane! Thank God!" and Chris left leaving Zeke and Chef alone in the Kitchen

Chef was cleaning up part of the mess when Zeke tiptoed over to the toaster and put his hand on it, without even turning around to look at him Chef knew he wanted to press that button

"DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!" Chef yelled "GET OUT!"

Zeke learned one thing he wouldn't forget, Stay out of Chef's Kitchen and Zeke ran like hell into some random room Chris owned on the plane


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I own nothing so please don't sue me!

A/N: Before we start this chapter I would just like to take the time to say thank you to all the reviewers who make me feel so good about this that I feel the need to update this pretty much daily! You guys seriously rock! I expected a few reviews like 2 or 3 but you guys surprised me and apparently like this story a lot! So keep the reviews coming and I'll keep supplying you with hilarious updates!

I would also like to apologize in advance if you find that this Chapter completely sucks! I needed to write it this way though so I could get it to where I wanted it to be! I want them to get to the house Next Chapter so this is just a Chapter that will help us get there sooner, Which I actually have already started writing the next 3 chapters, so Fear not!

Zeke hid away from Chef Most of the day and decided that it would be better to just avoid him and his dad, Chef cleaned up the bathroom mess and he kept glaring at Zeke and Chris the whole time cursing at him. Zeke annoyed most of the contestants on the show, He kept hitting on Bridgette, Heather and Izzy which got him beat up many times by various people. He also broke Harold's videogame and ate all of Owens chips and he used Noah's book for Toilet paper, He was just about to eat Cody's candy when Chris walked paged him over the intercom

"Ezekiel, Get your ass in the kitchen!" Chris paged him "This is kinda important, Not really that important, But on a scale of 1 to 10 it's like maybe a 2"

Zeke hurried in to see what Chris wanted, when he got in the kitchen he found Chris laughing like a maniac

"Oh Zeke!" Chris laughed "I have something to tell you!"

"What? Eh?" Zeke stared blankly "Do I get my allowance?"

"No" Chris simply laughed "You know how your totally socially awkward and shit?"

"No, I don't think I am" Zeke told him "I have an imaginary friend named Bob"

"Yeah…." Chris told him "Since I'm a host and all and the show is going to end in like 2 weeks anyway, I have decided to tell you the amazing news of how I'm going to make your life hell!"

"OH GOD!" Zeke yelled "Hell? Are you going to light me on fire, Eh!"

"A great idea" Chris agreed "But No, I'm sending you to public to school! Won't that be fun! I mean imagine it! Getting shoved into lockers and tossed into garbage cans! Having the school call my cell phone only to have me press the ignore button! Good times! I knew there was a plus to having a son!"

"I won't go!" Zeke sighed "Public everything scares me!"

"I know" Chris laughed "Which is what makes it more fun for me!"

Shortly after that the 2 weeks went by quickly as Zeke pissed his pants every time he thought of public school, Eventually everyone got eliminated and blah blah blah the final 2 became Heather and Alejandro and Zeke accidentally dropped the money into the lava of the final challenge all because he nor Chris knew how to tie their shoes and in an epic battle of attempting to tie their shoes they ended up knotting both pairs of shoes together while attached to their feet causing Zeke to fall on Chris thus dropping the money in the lava, Heather was supposed to win but seeing as the money was actual money and not written out in a check everyone on the show basically wasted their time in the first place and everyone just stood there looking pissed due to all that wasted time.

Chris decided that the least he could do was throw a party for the kids before they went home, Zeke and Chris weren't speaking because they both blamed each other for the money incident and neither wanted to admit that they were part of the reason it happened, Chris was just glad that he replaced the real Lava with melting Cinnamon instead so nobody really got burned, Except their eyes, If he would have used real Lava he would have been dealing with a lot of major lawsuits! How did he replace a actual volcano of Lava with Melting Cinnamon you may ask? Well he spent a lot of money doing it but that's okay because he's a millionaire. So now everyone was just partying away when Chris remembered that all his staff that worked for him were either in the hospital due to injury or quit on him and having a son now he new he needed a new staff.

"Where can I find some stupid people?" Chris said glancing around the Party "I know! I'll use this cast! I mean what else do they have to do now…Who do I want? Who can I tolerate? Owen? Nope, Alejandro? No way to sneaky, Lashawna? To sassy….Noah, Nope to….Uh…Noah will do!"

"Noah" Chris walked up to him "Now that this is all over what do you plan on doing with yourself?"

"Staying as far away from this place as possible" Noah sipped his drink "Why? What the hell do you want from me?"

"You know me so well" Chris smirked "You know how I have a son now?"

"Yes" Noah looked at him "If you want me to be your gay lover and help you raise your kid you've got another thing coming! Regardless of the rumors that are going around I'm not gay"

"Good to know" Chris told him "To much information, But good to know, I actually wanted to know if you would be my personal assistant again"

"Again?" Noah asked "Last time you fired me over a cold Coffee! I'm never going to work for you again!"

"Not even if I give you this check?" Chris asked handing him a check Noah's Jaw instantly dropped

"Is this your phone number?" Noah asked barely able to speak "That's a shitload of Zero's!"

"I know" Chris smirked "So if you're not interested in all my Zero's I can always just take that back and leave you here as a Zero"

"Hey Now!" Noah slapped Chris's hand "I didn't say I couldn't be bought, This offer is better than last time, I'm in"

"I knew you would see it my way" Chris threw the check in his face "Enjoy, The plane leaves tomorrow morning at 10am be there, don't forget my muffin and my hot Mocha!"

Chris loved the power and he knew Noah would be easy to buy, Noah loved money that was no secret, Noah was smart and he knew that he would be able to help him and Zeke do stuff, Like properly make Cereal when Chef wasn't around and help Zeke with homework and personal problems that he didn't want to deal with. Next he felt that he would need someone to protect him from the Paparazzi and Protect Zeke from stupid things that he didn't want to deal with either. He knew the perfect person fo that job…

"So, You want me to come back with YOU?" Duncan yelled "I'll pass"

"You don't have a choice' Chris threatened "You can either come with me and work for me or you can go back to Juvie, The choice is yours"

"Is that a threat?" Duncan asked

"Pretty much" Chris told him "So, I'll either see you on my plane tomorrow at 10am or I'll see you at the Total Drama Reunion show Via Satellite from Juivie!" and with that Chris walked away laughing leaving Duncan to decide what he wanted to do.

Next Chris decided that he wanted Heather to come too, Just for the simple fact he wanted to give her every messy possible task that he could find for her to do, He also knew with Zeke around that wouldn't be hard to do.

"Hey Heather" Chris called her over "I know that you're money melted and all"

"Thanks for reminding me" Heather glared

"How about I make it up to you?" Chris offered "Wanna come work for me?"

"I'm not a hooker" Heather told him "No matter what Alejandro says!"

"Thanks for letting me know" Chris smirked "But, I actually need some hired help around my house, You interested? I'll pay you way more then you could have made on this show"

"More then a million?" Heather laughed "I doubt that"

"I'll write you a check right now" Chris told her as he did just that "Here"

"You didn't sign it" Heather told him

"I know" Chris smirked "I saw how you play the game, Do you think I'm going to sign a check for 1 million for you? You'll take off then, If you want me to sign the check then I'll see you on my plane at 10am tomorrow morning"

"Damn you're good" Heather smirked knowing very well that's exactly what she planned on doing, But she decided she would go.

"WAIT A SECOND!" Courtney yelled "I want to go too!"

"I'm not going to pay you" Chris looked at her "You're annoying"

"But, I wanna go too!" Courtney yelled "I'm a better person of hired help then Heather and I'll work for free!"

"Whatever floats your boat" Chris told her "Can I get that in writing that you agree to work for free? Sign it for me right now and I'll see you on my plane at 10am tomorrow!"

"I'll do it" Courtney agreed as she followed Chris "Where do I sign?"

Chris and Courtney then walked to go get her a Contract to sign that she stupidly agreed to work for Free, on the way to get the contract he saw Tyler attempting to kick a rock with his foot, This rock was about the size of his head.

"Tyler, Dude do me a favor" Chris said as he kept walking "Meet me at my plane tomorrow at 10am"

Chris seriously couldn't wait until tomorrow to see what the hell would happen and he hoped that everyone would eventually be happy that they got to work for him and Zeke, He actually hoped that Zeke would like the place. So he kept his new employee's a secret until 10am when he boarded the plane that was much nicer than the total drama plane wondering who would show up while Chef was making sure the other campers got on the right planes home. At Exactly 10am Zeke showed up but still refused to speak to Chris, Noah arrived 5 minutes later.

"Where should I put my stuff?" Noah asked as he got on the plane

"Over there" Chris pointed to a compartment "Where's the coffee!"

"Relax" Noah told him "I got it, Here if you need anything else then let me know, Until that point I'll be sitting over there in that seat checking my email"

"Will do" Chris told him "Trust me, I'm sure I'll need you"

"What's he doing here Eh?" Zeke yelled "You replaced me? You found another son?"

"Oh, now you wanna talk to me" Chris turned his head away "To late, I'm still mad at you"

"Whatever" Zeke looked out the window "I'm not sharing a bunk bed with him, I hate my new brother"

Just then Courtney walked in

"Sorry, I didn't mean to be tardy!" Courtney then looked over at Noah "What's he doing here?"

"Same as you" Noah told her not looking up from his computer, Courtney tried to sit next to him "Don't, That seat is taken"

"By who?" Courtney demanded to know "You can't hog the seats!"

"This seat is taken by someone way more important then you" Noah simply told her "I would tell you who, but that's classified"

"More important?" Chris looked at Noah "I'm sitting right here! The most important person on this plane is already here"

"Oh god, What's she doing here?" Heather yelled as she stormed on the plane "You didn't tell me she would be here when I agreed to this!"

"You replaced me with more kids!" Zeke cried "Why!"

"I didn't plan on her being here" Chris admitted "She's working for free, I didn't sign the check yet, If you want to leave then take your fat ass to the exit"

"No, I'll stay" Heather agreed "Sign it now!"

"You're working for free?" Noah laughed "Desperate!"

"You gave them allowance!" Zeke whined "This day blows!"

"Heyyyyyy! Tyler is in the house….Ur…Plane!" Tyler yelled as he walked in "I don't know why I'm here but you said to come here so here I be"

"You mean here I am" Noah corrected him "Here, Take this VIP seat next to me"

"Gee thanks!" Tyler said throwing his suitcase in the compartment with Noah's stuff

"Anything for an important person on the plane" Noah smirked at Courtney

"Tyler?" Courtney yelled "He's more important then me? I don't think so!"

"I do" Noah stated "So go away, Go sit with Zeke or something"

Chef boarded the plane and told them all that they would be taking off soon, Tyler still had no clue why he was even there, Courtney was butting heads with Noah, Heather was content as she got her million anyway and Zeke was pissed at Chris because he thought that Chris paid them all to be his new kids because he hated him.

"WAIT!" Duncan yelled "I don't wanna go to Juvie! I decided to go with you!"

Chris laughed in his head, He couldn't wait to get them all to his mansion where he was sure they would kill each other or go insane and quit, He was looking forward to this very much as the plane took off he listened to them bicker, This was going to be a LONG flight home.

"Noah" Chris ordered "iPod, Get me it now"

"You got it, Sir" Noah sighed as he went to get it.

Oh yes, this was going to be fun for Chris!


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I own nothing thus a court date shall not be scheduled

A/N: Once again I'd like to thank you all so much for being awesome reviewers! You guys rock! Seriously! Remember Reviews make me happy! As long as you guys make the effort to review this I'll keep supplying you with updates!

Before I start I would like to take the time to respond to some of your reviews from the first 5 chapters

**Can't think- I'm glad you like this story and it makes you laugh, I can honestly tell you that I'm not sure how much better Chris's parenting skills will get, But by now I'm sure you can see the similarities of intelligence between Zeke and Chris. **

**EvanescenceAngel- Glad you like the fic, I know there are problems with the spelling and punctuation in some parts, I'm typing with this damn thing that automatically corrects and changes things on me, It adds whatever it wants and sometimes adds or takes words away, It pisses me off lol So yeah, I'm aware of the unnecessary punctuation and capitalizations! **

**Ace5492- Thanks for reviewing for every chapter and being one of my first ever reviewers for Chapter one! You too are wonderful! **

I could answer more questions but I figured this sums it up pretty well as most people just want to tell me about the grammar and punctuation, I hate how it does that but apparently it's going to keep correcting so I'm just going to roll with it and try my best to make this story as good as I can for you even with a lot of the auto changing word fails it keeps spitting out at me, Though I can't blame it for everything some of the failing grammar is my fault but I try! I've seen stories with way worse then mine So with all this being said, let's start the next chapter!

The plane was finally in flight, Chef was flying it back to Chris's mansion and everyone was getting to know each other and hate each other just a bit more

"I can't believe you came here!" Courtney yelled "I thought you were getting locked away with the key thrown away"

"I was" Duncan told her "Until I agreed to work for Chris, This IS my ticket to freedom, so don't blow it!"

"Listen, If I knew YOU were going to be here I would have never agreed to work here" Courtney told him

"I wish you would have known" Noah glared "Besides you're the only idiot here who works for free"

"Okay, I demand to know!" Courtney yelled "How much does everyone get paid? Tell me right now!"

"I got my million" Heather said in a sing song voice "This is SO going to be worth it!"

"What about you?" Courtney directed it at Noah "How much are YOU getting?"

"Enough to make people confuse it with my cell phone number" Noah smirked at her "You don't even need to tell us how much you make, We all know you're the only one who agreed to do this for nothing just to be included"

"How much are you making?" Heather asked Tyler

"Making what?" Tyler asked "I'm on my way home! So I can go to the gym! I didn't know you guys would be on my flight home!"

"To think" Duncan laughed at Courtney "Everyone thought you were dumb for working for free, At least she knows where she's going"

"Duncan, How much are you getting paid?" Noah asked

"Nothing" Duncan told them "Chris threatened me, I came here or got sent back to Juvie"

"I'm not sharing my room with you!" Zeke yelled "This day really sucks!"

"Shut up!" Courtney yelled "Nobody cares Zeke!"

"Way to talk to your employers kid" Noah laughed "Get fired before you even get there"

Right at that time Chef announced that they would be landing in a few minutes and everyone needed to shut up so he wouldn't crash the plane, He landed the plane in Chris's Neighbors yard which happened to be Blainley who was pissed, After Blainley and Chris dropped the F bomb at each other for about 5 minutes Chris and his new crew finally entered the mansion.

"Welcome to my house!" Chris told him "One of them anyway! This is my main mansion where I spend most of my days and now you'll be doing it too! Let's not waste any time at all I'll tell you what I want you to do right now and then you can unpack your shit in your rooms and get the hell to work"

"Work!" Tyler yelled "But…This…This isn't my house!"

Everyone else laughed at Tyler except Zeke who just sat on the floor mumbling various swears at Chris

"Yes, I know" Chris told Tyler "This is MY house which you'll be working in!"

"So where am I supposed to stay?" Heather asked "Please tell me its better then a camp cabin!"

"Of course it is" Chris told her "Your room is going to be on the 3rd floor to the left down the hall and after you make 2 more rights and then another left if you go straight then you'll see a hall of doors and the 5th door on the right is where you and Courtney will be staying"

"What!" Both yelled

"Problem?" Chris asked with a big grin

"You know it" Heather told him "I don't want to share a room with Courtney!"

"You have a mansion!" Courtney yelled "Give us better rooms!"

"Yeah, That's not gonna happen" Chris told them "Now you two can go unpack and then I want you to start sweeping the steps and I want Heather to make every bed in this house"

"Piece of cake" Heather agreed "How many beds could you possibly have?"

"I have 54" Chris told her "By the time you finish making every bed and adding the decorative pillows that should take about 3 hours…Maybe 5"

"all 54 beds?" Heather asked "I doubt all 54 are messy!"

"They are" Chris told her "I never sleep in the same bed every night when I'm home, I alternate"

"Great…." Heather sighed as she stomped upstairs

"Well?" Chris asked Courtney "I have 21 flights of stairs! So get to it!"

"But what about my room?" Courtney asked

"Worry about it later" Chris glared "Go…Start now!"

Duncan laughed

"You!" Chris pointed at Duncan "Consider yourself my body Guard! You make sure my handsome body is always safe, this will include public appearances and anytime I step foot outside of my property!"

"Sweet!" Duncan happily said "I get to beat up people!"

"At least someone likes their job!" Chris yelled in hopes Courtney and Heather would hear even though they didn't "Tyler, You are going to do whatever I don't wanna do!"

"That's not fun" Tyler pouted

"I know" Chris laughed "Which will include opening fan mail and doing lawn work and driving me places when Chef can't and doing anything else my personal assistant can't do, meaning if my personal assistant is busy then you're going to help him"

Tyler said nothing and just took everything in still unsure if he knew what was going on.

"Where's my cool room!" Duncan demanded "C'mon! I wanna relax!"

"Tyler and you are on the 5th floor" Chris told them "Next to the broom closet"

"That's it?" Duncan laughed "No really long hallways?"

"Nope" Chris told him "Just at the end of the 5th floor main hallway on the left next to the broom closet"

"Sweet!" Duncan grabbed Tyler's arm "C'mon dude lets go check it out!"

Noah and Chris just stared at each other while Zeke sat on the floor pouting still

"That just leaves me" Noah sighed "What no room for me? Or do you have to find a cot to toss in with Duncan and Tyler?"

"No" Chris told him "I need easy access to you! So your bedroom is yours and yours alone on the 1st floor"

"My own room?" Noah asked in shock "That's seriously awesome!"

"I know" Chris laughed "Now, I want you to go over to Blainley's house and apologize and help Chef get the helicopter off her lawn and fix her grass! MOVE IT LETS GO!"

"What about Duncan and Tyler?" Noah glared at Chris "Can't I get Tyler to help?"

"You can't ask Tyler to do anything" Chris laughed "You must ask me first and I'll tell Tyler what to do if I feel you actually need help, I also don't require Duncan or Tyler right now, I think you should get to work now!"

"Whatever" Noah glared as he walked out the door to figure out what he was supposed to do realizing that Chris is an unreasonable asshole, That just left 2 people Chris and Zeke.

"So, You ready to get off the floor yet?" Chris asked Zeke

"No" Zeke angrily told Chris "I'm still mad at you!"

"For what?" Chris asked

"Replacing me!" Zeke told him "I screwed up I get it! But you didn't need to replace me with more kids!"

"I didn't replace you!" Chris insisted "They work for us!"

"Oh" Zeke told him "That's still not an excuse, Eh!"

"Listen I'm not going to argue with you!" Chris yelled "Go to your room or…something!"

"I don't have one, Eh" Zeke told him

"Yeah you do!" Chris told him "It's upstairs on the 6th floor down the hall and make a-"

"Just show me!" Zeke yelled "You lost me at Upstairs"

"Fine, I'll show you" Chris agreed as he walked Zeke up the stairs for about 10 minutes and opened a door "Here we are! Your bedroom!"

"This is a closet….." Zeke told him "You want me to live in a closet?"

"Oops" Chris shrugged "I guess I opened the wrong door, It must be this one" Chris then walked over to the door next to it and opened it

"That's a book storage place" Zeke told him looking at the room that was obviously a Library "You want me to live in the book storage place? I hate book storage places! I can never remember where they are"

"My bad" Chris shrugged it off "I didn't even know this room existed"

"Maybe it's this one?" Zeke asked opening another door

"Nope, That looks like a potty" Chris just shrugged "Unless you wanna sleep here, Then who am I to stop you?"

"I definitely don't want to sleep in the potty" Zeke admitted

"Maybe it's upstairs?" Chris suggested "Let's go look!"

"Okay!" Zeke agreed as he and Chris went to search for the room "Are you sure you know where you're going?"

"Of course!" Chris lied "Chef gave me this paper, It says something about rounding a corner to the left and then something about a another right and stuff….."

"This is to complicated" Zeke complained "I hate this house! I hate school too! I'm not going tomorrow!"

"Oh yes you are!" Chris laughed "Relax, You can take Duncan with you"

"Will he talk to me?" Zeke asked Chris as they just started opening random doors

"He better "Chris told him "Or back to Juvie he goes!"

"Back at my mom's house it was easier to find stuff….." Zeke mumbled

"How many rooms did her mansion have?" Chris asked

"We only had a 2 bedroom house" Zeke told him "I still got lost"

Chris laughed and finally gave up finding Zeke his room

"Listen" Chris told him "We have over 54 bedrooms you can just sleep in whatever one you want, Just not the same bed as me! Understood?"

"Got it" Zeke agreed "What if I need to find someone, Eh?"

"Oh!" Chris remembered handing him a radio type thing "Press the red button it's rigged to every room in the mansion, someone will come! Someone always comes when you keep pressing the red button! They also have buttons by the intercom in every room so they can respond to you!"

"Like…Magic?" Zeke asked amazed

"Sure, why not?" Chris shrugged "Let's try it shall we?"

"Okay!" Zeke agreed "Show me the magical ways oh wise one!"

"Tyler!" Chris pressed the button on his radio "This is Chris, I want to go swimming in the shallow end of the pool, I'm thinking about doing a dive in about 2 feet of water, I need you to meet me there in a swimsuit and try it first before I do it! I'll be there in 10 minutes, I expect you to be there when I get there"

"OH GOD THAT SCARED ME MAN!" Tyler yelled back "I'm on it! As soon as I can find the pool….."

"You better hurry" Chris told Tyler as he ended the conversation and handed Zeke the Radio "These things are in every room, Carry it with you if you want or just use the one in the room, One of them will always respond….Well I guess I'm going to go watch Tyler hurt himself, Have fun" and then Chris laughed to himself leaving Zeke in the hallway looking at tons of pictures of Chris all over the wall, He really wanted to page someone so he finally did.

"Hey, Assistant guy!" Zeke pressed the button attempting to get Noah

"What!" Noah yelled back into the radio thingy

"What are you doing?" Zeke asked

"I'm unpacking, I just finished up outside" Noah told him "What the hell do you want?"

"Uh…Can you come upstairs to this floor that I'm on and then take off my socks and shoes, Eh?" Zeke asked

"No" Noah told him "No, I can't I think you can do that yourself"

"Please?" Zeke begged

"I'll pass" Noah told him

"NOAH" Chris yelled into the radio from some unknown location "YOU BETTER DO IT!"

"Alright, Geesh" Noah sighed "What floor are you on?"

"I dunno" Zeke told him "Come find me?"

"Oh c'mon!" Noah yelled "Do I really have to?"

"Yes" Chris responded again from an unknown location

"Fine" Noah sighed "Don't move I'll be there in a minute"

Zeke decided he could forgive Chris for being a shitty parent when he had all these people to help do whatever he wanted them to and he was going to enjoy every minute of it. He couldn't wait for school tomorrow when he knew Duncan would be forced to go with him.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I own nothing! Thus nothing can be taken!

A/N: Once again thank you all so much for the positive reviews of this story! Someone actually messaged me telling me they now truly believe that Zeke is secretly Chris's son and they cannot watch the show now without thinking that! Well that's….Inspiring? Well anyway this chapter is for you wonderful folks who love this story so much! Enjoy!

The next morning Zeke woke up in one of the many rooms of the house to the sound of Heather's voice

"Hey Freak!" Heather yelled "Get up! I have to make the bed now!"

"I'm sleeping Eh!" Zeke put his head under the covers

"I don't care" Heather told him "It's 7:00am! I had to get up at 5:00am! So quit your complaining!"

"This isn't very nice" Zeke told her "I thought you were supposed to be nice to me"

"Is Chris here?" Heather asked "Nope, So No Chris equals not a nice Heather! Now as I was saying…GET OUT!"

"Why do I have to get up so early, Eh?" Zeke asked "I spent 45 minutes trying to find the bathroom last night and then I just ended up going on the floor after I gave up looking"

"Hahaha!" Heather laughed "Sucks to be Courtney!"

"So since were in here do you wanna….Ya know?" Zeke winked

"I know" Heather winked "And the answer is no, I want you to get out of the bed so I can make it! Besides you have School today"

"So shouldn't you?" Zeke asked "I WON'T GO ALONE!"

"Yeah, You will" Heather told him "Because Chris doesn't care what I do at all, You on the other hand are his son so that means you're always going to get watched by everyone especially paparazzi so don't screw up, even though I'm sure you will"

Zeke then pouted out of the room realizing that Heather and him were not on good terms and that Heather did not want to have a relationship with him of any kind, Zeke was still dreading school he had a fear of everything especially people. He made it just a bit further down the hallway when he saw Courtney so he figured he would try his luck with her.

"Hey, I have 54 bedrooms" Zeke told her as he approached her "Do you wanna….Ya know?"

"No" Courtney told him "That would be unprofessional plus I'm a CIT so I can do way better then you! Besides your worthless until Chris dies, maybe if Chris asked me I would so then I can have all this luxury but you….No, besides your finger is always up your nose and that's just gross"

"Urg!" Zeke sighed "Rejected again….At least Heather gave me a wink"

"Ewww!" Courtney shrieked "You hit on Heather? First Alejandro and now you? Well technically Duncan was first….God I hate her so much! You know what I'm saying Zeke? She's like so ugly an-"

"Listen, If that's a no then I'm gonna leave" Zeke interrupted her "You talk too much, Eh!"

"You're leaving?" Courtney yelled "But I wasn't finished talking! No wonder you don't have friends! You're a terrible listener! Oh and I know it was you who went to the bathroom on the floor!"

Zeke decided that both of these girls were too much trouble, Heather just wanted to be a sarcastic smartass with him and Courtney just talked to much for his taste not to mention she confessed she wanted to date his dad and only for his money and this type of luxury. He made his way downstairs to see Chef had made breakfast and Chris was sitting there with an omelet and his coffee sitting at the completely opposite end of the table were Duncan and Tyler.

"Took you long enough" Chris sighed "You took almost as long as it's taking Noah to bring me my newspaper! Why don't I have my newspaper?"

"Dude, Chill" Duncan told him sipping his juice "He'll bring it eventually, you've been ranting about it since he left"

"Did I ask you to speak?" Chris glared "Unless the next words out of your mouth are printed on your tongue and involve today's news then I don't care"

"Whatever" Duncan glared back at Chris "Tyler How's your head?"

"It's doing better" Tyler told him "The ice is really helping and this bruise on my face doesn't hurt that bad"

"Oh yeah!" Chris perked up "Thanks Dude, If it wasn't for you testing that dive out that could have been me! So yeah, I owe ya one for saving my face from looking like yours"

"Really? Who would have thought that idea would have completely sucked?" Noah sarcastically asked Chris as he entered the room "Here's your paper, Sorry it took forever but I couldn't find it so I just stole Blainley's"

"Hahahaha Dude Nice!" Chris happily said "I love you guys! Seriously! Best workers ever!"

"Yeah, whatever" Noah told him "I love you too, As long as you keep paying my salary"

"Zeke" Chris directed his attention at him "School, get your ass there"

"Never!" Zeke whined "I already told you I'm not going"

"I told you that you are" Chris sipped his coffee "I'm right and your wrong, so go to school and deal with it"

"Why do YOU get to make the rules?" Zeke demanded "This is not fair, Eh!"

"I'm the parent" Chris told him "I don't have to explain to you!"

"Come on" Duncan told Zeke "Just give it up, I'm going with you because I'm forced too, So make my day easy please? Just C'mon"

"Nope" Zeke whined "I'm not going to school"

"May I?" Duncan asked Chris with a smirk

"You may" Chris started laughing as Duncan picked Zeke up and flung him over his shoulders

"See you at 3pm!" Chris laughed along with Noah and Tyler as Duncan and Zeke walked out the front door Zeke screaming all the way.

"Tyler" Chris threw the keys to the limo at him "Drive them to school and then I need you to go grocery shopping"

"I don't have my license yet" Tyler told him "Plus, My head still hurts"

"Not caring" Chris told him "Try not to kill anyone or yourself! Here's the grocery list! Good luck!"

Tyler then ran out the door to drive but then he fell down and nobody really cared

"That was a horrible idea" Noah shook his head as he started walking through to the door

"Hey!" Chris yelled "Where the hell are you going?"

"School?" Noah asked

"Why?" Chris looked at him confused "Why would you willingly want to go to school?"

"Let's see, I'm a straight A student and I'm on the honor roll not to mention I never missed a day of school unless I have a written note" Noah told him "So I assume I would be attending school, I'm only 15"

"All good reasons" Chris told him "But I need you here so you won't be attending school"

"Are you serious?" Noah yelled "This is ridiculous! If I'm not going to school then what exactly am I supposed to do?"

"I need you here to help me do stuff" Chris told him "Now when you're done annoying me I need you to help me make a few phone calls"

"Fine!" Noah told him "But the second I get a chance I'm going to my school to pick up my assignments so I don't fail!"

"Fine, we can call Tyler and have him pick them up" Chris rolled his eyes "Now let's go we have a lot of work to do today including making calls and talking to the producers about some reunion show"

"Whatever" Noah sulked as him and Chris walked off

Little did Noah realize that his day was actually going better then the rest of the people who lived/worked there, Duncan and Zeke were in the Limo waiting for Tyler to start it up and Tyler who was still suffering head injuries from the pool and didn't have his license yet was debating if he wanted to start it up, after sitting in the driveway for 5 minutes Duncan was starting to get pissed because Tyler wouldn't start it up and Zeke was trying to get out.

"C'mon Tyler!" Duncan yelled "Start the damn thing and let's go already!"

"I don't know about this…."Tyler told him "I don't know how to drive that well yet, not to mention this is a limo and I'm not sure how I'm going to do with turning…."

"Then come back here and I'll drive" Duncan insisted "Were going to be late, Not that I care but the paparazzi is going to be in the way and I still have to deal with that! Let's go!"

"Fine!" Tyler yelled starting to get Angry as he floored it Causing Zeke to scream and Duncan put the sky roof down and stuck his head out "HELL YEAH!" They were going at least 105 MPH with Tyler not even bothering to stop for any red lights or stop signs, they hit a mailbox and almost hit other kids walking to school.

"Dude!" Zeke yelled "Slow down Eh!"

"I don't wanna stop!" Tyler told him "I'm afraid if I stop something will hit us!"

"You're gonna hit something or someone!" Zeke closed his eyes as Duncan directed Tyler to the school

"Dude! Were here!" Duncan yelled to Tyler as they approached the school "STOP!"

Tyler finally took his foot off the pedal and slammed right into a tree at the school as the paparazzi took pictures

"Were here" Duncan told Zeke as he opened the door and then went to get the door for Zeke "Were alive, start walking!"

"Fine" Zeke walked into the school with his head down all the way in as Duncan flipped the crowd off and Tyler drove the limo off almost running over 4 students in the process as you could hear the tired screeching all the way down the road. Once inside the building Duncan started telling Zeke what they were going to do today as the paparazzi screamed questions at Zeke. They made their way to 1st period 20 minutes late.

"Mr. McClain?" The teacher asked as Zeke just stood there

"Mr. McClain?" The teacher asked again "You are Mr. McClain correct?"

"She's talking to you…." Duncan told him "YOU'RE Mr. McClain"

"Who might I ask are you?" The teacher asked

"Who me?" Zeke asked oblivious to the teacher and the class

"Not you, Mr. McClain" The teacher told him "I'm talking about Mr. Mohawk"

"Mr. Mohawk has a name" Duncan told her "I'm Duncan and my last name is on a need to know basis and you don't need to know, I'm Zeke's bodyguard and I'm with him all day and everyday so I hope that's not going to be a problem"

"Not a problem at all" The teacher glared at Duncan "I'm Mrs. Zappner and I'll be Zeke's 1st period teacher, I'm also the principal so I hope I won't be seeing either of you in my office"

"Hopefully not" Duncan smirked "Seeing your lovely face one period a day is good enough for me"

"Please, Take a seat" Mrs. Zappner pointed to 2 chairs as Duncan sat down and Zeke just stood there "Mr. McClain? Problem?"

"Who?" Zeke asked

"You" Mrs. Zappner told him "Have a seat"

"Who's Mr. McClain?" Zeke asked

"You are" Mrs. Zappner told him

"No, I'm Ezekiel" Zeke told her "I'm new here"

Various students in the class laughed as Zeke just stood there with his finger in his nose and Mrs. Zappner just shook her head.

"Ezekiel please sit down next to Dean or whoever he is" Mrs. Zappner pointed to the seat next to Duncan

Zeke and Duncan sat down and she continued her lesson which was Math, Duncan hated her she looked about 50 and bitchy he couldn't believe she was also the principal he knew this wasn't going to be fun, Duncan looked over at Zeke to see that he was drawing on the desk and then looked over at some other girl sitting on the other side of him and she was writing "I love Billy" over and over again he didn't know who this girl was or who Billy was but by looking around he could tell that everyone could care less what the hell Mrs. Zappner was rambling on about. Duncan's phone went off and he got a text which he was grateful for due to the fact he could stop watching what these idiots were doing.

_Duncan,_

_Chris wants to know how everything is going_

_Noah_

Duncan rolled his eyes and replied to Noah

_Fine_

Noah instantly replied back

_That's all you're going to tell me?_

Duncan couldn't help but laugh at Noah and wrote back

_Yep. _

"Excuse me!" Mrs. Zappner came over and took the phone from Duncan "No texting in my class, I'd like to see you after school"

"Listen" Duncan told her "This is important so I think you could understand that this is a matter of official business"

"Just because you're working for someone famous doesn't mean you get special treatment in my school" Mrs. Zappner told them and took Duncan's phone "As I said, I'll see you after school"

Zeke then stupidly made a phone call on his Cell Phone

"You too!" Mrs. Zappner yelled and took the phone away as the bell rang and class ended

Zeke went to the women's room and then got screamed at by girls and then they went to gym and Zeke got hit with a bunch of kickball's and Zeke got lost then they ate lunch that was unidentifiable as to what is was followed by Duncan going outside for a cigarette and then helping Zeke tie his shoe before they made their way to English class and they still had 3 hours to go. This was going to be a long day, Duncan couldn't wait to get home.


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I own nothing!

A/N: Once again I wanted to let you know how amazing all you guys are for reviewing! I also wanted to let you know that if you go back a few chapters to where Zeke and Chris were sleeping together in the same bed it inspired a new story "Literally sleeping with Chris" which if you like this story then you may also enjoy that one. So let's begin the next chapter shall we?

Tyler was still at the damn store, He couldn't read Chris's crappy handwriting and Tyler started to think that half of the crap Chris even wanted didn't exists. Tyler stood there for a good hour just staring at the list before poor sap came up to him and offered to help him with that.

"Hey, I'm Greg and I've noticed you've been here awhile" Greg told him

"Hey, I'm Tyler and if you're hitting on me I'm going to punch you in the face" Tyler told him and Greg took a step back

"No!" Greg told him "I want to help ya with your shopping list….I'm an employee here!"

"Oh" Tyler said "Well why didn't you say so in the first place? I'm having a hell of a time finding these things"

"I'd be happy to help you" Greg told him "Let's see that list!"

"Yeah, I'm at item number 1" Tyler told him "Depends? Depends on what? Depends on what I like or what Chris is in the mood for?"

"Depends?" Greg thought for a minute "Oh! Depends! Aisle 5"

"Depends on what though?" Tyler asked confused "Depends what's second on the list or something? Or does it just depend on what I want because I think I want to order a pizza or something"

Greg then walked to aisle 5 and showed Tyler the depends "Here you go"

"I said I wanted pizza not diapers!" Tyler yelled "diapers never even crossed my mind"

"Depends are adult diapers" Greg told him "So how about I just leave you to that then now that you know what you're looking for"

"Wait!" Tyler asked "Why are there so many?"

"They come in many sizes and shapes" Greg told him "Uh…it depends on what size the person you are buying for is"

"Oh" Tyler said as Greg left leaving Tyler to that "I don't even know who I'm buying these for…..I know! I'll get one of each! This will totally save me time finding the bathrooms! This must be what Chris wants these for so we don't have to waste time looking for the bathroom!"

Tyler then continued shopping and got a bunch of other random shit that was on the list which included other odd things that took Tyler even longer to decide on what he wanted to buy, once he finally got everything done he quickly got to the register only to have 3 old ladies in front of him counting out the exact amount they needed in pennies. Tyler just sighed at all the ridiculous shit he was finding himself doing.

"Total Drama world tour?" Tyler thought "Piece of cake…They should make Total Drama: Living with Chris! Now that would be a challenge! What the hell does he even want these Australian blue mangoes for? More importantly how the hell does he even know they existed?"

Tyler waited for almost 40 minutes in that line when it was finally his turn he was so happy and he got everything rung up quickly and he was thrilled thinking that his day might get just a bit better.

"Paper or Plastic?" The girl asked him

"That's a tough one…." Tyler thought "Uh…Paper….No Plastic!...How about both?"

"Whatever" the girl said as she bagged everything glaring at all the strange things he bought "You're total is $367.94"

"My total?" Tyler stared realizing Chris being the asshole he is failed to give him any type of money at all

"Yes" The girl told him "You're total"

"Speaking of total" Tyler tried to get out of this "I'm Tyler you may know me from Total Drama I'm actually rather famous ya know…"

"That's nice" the girl stared at him "You're total is still $367.94"

"I'm working for Chris McClain" Tyler told her "These are in fact the groceries of a famous man"

"Only if you have $367.94" the girl smirked at him

"Uh…." Tyler blankly looked at her threw everything in the cart and ran "Bye!"

Tyler then threw every damn thing in the car he possibly had into the limo and quickly drove off running anything over that was in his way thankfully for him he didn't hit a person….yet anyway.

Duncan was finally happy the day was over, Sadly for him he and Zeke still had that meeting with which became a worse situation when some kid flushed Zeke's head down the toilet Duncan did the only thing he thought he should do punch the kid in the face and hold him down in the toilet and allow Zeke to flush again and again and again, Of course this didn't exactly help his case when found out about this and she just "Added to the list of things to discuss" after school. Sadly that moment came and Duncan already knew this wasn't going well

"Mr. McClain and…..Friend?" said as we walked into her office "Are you aware why you're here?"

"Because you're the boss lady?" Zeke asked "And cause you said so?"

"Are you aware that you cannot put other children's heads in toilets?" asked

"Are they aware they can't do it to Zeke first?" Duncan asked "I'm here to protect him from others and sadly himself"

"You just can't go around acting like this" told them

"Can I get my phone back?" Duncan rolled his eyes "I need to call Chris, Ya know? My boss so I can let him know why his son isn't home yet….."

"Yes, I suppose you can" Mrs. Zappner told him "I expect I'll be seeing Chris tomorrow night then?"

"You're not his type, Eh" Zeke told her "He usually likes them younger and not all wrinkly"

"That's not what I meant!" Mrs. Zappner yelled at Zeke

"Why would you be seeing him tomorrow night?" Duncan asked "Not like he would bother to show up anyway….He's my dream parent! The type who never looks before he signs stuff and the type who wouldn't show up to the school play even if his son was the star…..So don't expect him to show"

"Here" Mrs. Zappner handed them their phones "Ezekiel, you tell your dad to be here tomorrow night okay?"

"Alright lady" Zeke agreed "Just don't expect flowers or anything….."

Duncan laughed at Zeke's stupidity and laughed because he knew for a fact that Chris wouldn't even bother to waste his time going to something like that, Duncan also wished his mom was more like Chris with that as she ALWAYS made him participate in school things and she always read things before she signed them which meant Zeke was lucky because Duncan was pretty sure Chris could honestly care less what Zeke or himself did at school. Tyler was waiting outside in the limo by the dumpster that he actually managed to knock over.

"Hey guys" Tyler said as they got in "How was school?"

"What are you a parent?" Duncan laughed "It was alright, I flushed some kids head in the pisser"

"I stole some groceries….." Tyler told them as he once again floored the limo and hit a stop sign on the way out completely tearing it from the ground "I don't think we can go back to that store again"

"Hahahaha Nice one dude!" Duncan told him "Why the hell are you so quiet?"

"I don't know what to tell my dad" Zeke told Duncan "He's gonna kill me! He has a date with that weird lady now and it's all my fault….."

"Huh?" Tyler asked confused as ever and he got ignored as usual

"First of all it's not a date" Duncan told him "It's parent teacher conferences and secondly Chris won't even go, He could honestly care less"

Tyler finally got them home as he went through Blainley's fence to get there and parked on the lawn but he could care less at this point he day really sucked and it was all thanks to Chris who he barely even saw at all today and found out that even without Chris being near him he could still manage to ruin his life. Tyler really wanted to know what the hell all this shit he bought was for but he didn't have time the second he walked in the door Chris was already sitting at the dinner table with Noah, Courtney and Heather and Chef just served the food and immediately saw the bags in Tyler's hands and took them to the kitchen.

"You're late" Courtney yelled as the 3 of the sat down at the table "Exactly 26 minutes late! And I'm positive it has something to do with Duncan!"

"Oh can it will ya?" Duncan asked her as he lit up a cigarette "I wasn't JUST my fault, We had some trouble with Tyler's driving and a few other problems too"

"Smoking?" Courtney asked "Really? You're just going to have a cigarette at the table? That's rude! Chris tell him that's rude!"

"Gimmie one man" Chris told Duncan as he also started smoking "I ran out last night"

"Seriously!" Courtney yelled "You're both just going to sit here and smoke?"

"Problem with it?" Duncan asked her "Princess, You need to chill"

"If we want to smoke then so be it" Chris told her "If you want one then be my guest"

"I'll pass" Courtney pouted as Zeke played with his food "What's wrong with him anyway?"

"Something about some bitch teacher" Duncan told her "Noah texted me today and my phone got taken off me and then his and some other shit…."

"So what happened with that?" Noah asked "I would have texted to ask but I seem to only get one word replies….."

"She wants to meet with my dad, eh" Zeke sighed and continued to play with his food "But I guess it's okay brah cause Duncan said that he doesn't care enough to go anyway which is a good thing too because I don't want him to know the other things we've done"

"Oh Really?" Chris smirked as this did in fact intrigue him "Ya know what? I think I will go"

"Way to be discrete" Duncan rolled his eyes "Maybe just maybe, You don't want to go"

"Oh I definitely do" Chris laughed "Just cause you don't want me to go, This could be fun!"

"Hey!" Zeke took a drawing out of his jeans randomly "LOOK WHAT I DREW! IT'S A TREE EH!"

"And nobody cares…."Noah told him as he looked at Chris who was debating with Duncan over going to the school conference "Chris! You're son drew you something"

"Oh" Chris stopped his conversation and looked at Zeke "Did you? It's a lovely picture of a cow…."

"That's a tree" Zeke smiled proudly

"Cow and tree are pretty much the same thing" Chris told him

"No there not" Noah told him "I hope you know if you go to this meeting I'm going to have to reschedule everything"

"Then do it" Chris told him "As for the drawing, It's lovely, I'll hang it in my….Shoe rack"

"You don't even get your own shoes" Noah told him "You would never see it, I get your shoes thus I would be the one to see it"

"Exactly" Chris told them "So Tyler how was your day?"

"I DID EVERYTHING ON YOUR FREAKING LIST!" Tyler yelled as Chris looked confused "I don't even know what Depends are or Australian blue mangoes but all I know is that I had to steal because I couldn't afford it! Then I can't even drive and I almost killed 67 people today! Not to mention I hit 7 trees and a poor innocent mail box!"

"What grocery list?" Chris asked confused as ever as Noah just laughed "I gave you an errand list not a grocery list….speaking of that where is my dry cleaning?"

"YOU!" Tyler glared at Noah "That was YOUR list wasn't it"

"Okay fine" Noah admitted "You did my shopping for me, Thanks"

"Thanks?" Tyler yelled "I spent 3 hours looking for all that!"

"And you still didn't get my dry cleaning….." Chris rolled his eyes

"What the hell did you want depends for anyway!" Tyler yelled "I don't know what you wanted the for and I just found out what they were but all I know is that since I bought them your sharing them!"

"This conversation just got weird" Heather laughed "Let's talk more about Duncan and the teacher!"

"Shut it" Duncan told her "He doesn't need to go! Seriously man, Think of all the paparazzi that will follow you"

"I'm going" Chris laughed "Trust me, Noah and I will both be there"

"Oh sure! Now you want me to go to school" Noah rolled his eyes as Chris's phone rang "Caller ID says your mom"

"Greaaattttt" Chris sighed "C'mon Noah, Your gonna take this call with me let's go"

"Why do I have to talk to your mom!" Noah yelled as Chris dragged him outta the room

"I'm going to bed" Tyler sighed as he strolled along upstairs

"Me too" Everyone else agreed as they all strolled upstairs leaving Zeke to go annoy Noah and Chris

"Want me to walk you to your room Princess?" Duncan asked Courtney

"Like I need you!" Courtney yelled

"Whatever" Duncan told her "Just asking"

"Fine" Courtney agreed "Just this once though"


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I own nothing! =)

The day of the meeting everyone took off of school and work to prepare for this special day for Zeke. They were supposed to be there at 3:00pm and the only one who seemed to care about the time was Noah.

"C'mon guys!" Noah yelled "Everyone get in the limo! We're all going to be later then what we already are!"

"What time were we supposed to be there, Eh?" Zeke asked

"3 o clock!" Noah yelled "It's 4:30 now! What the hell are you guys even doing?"

"I can't find my shoes!" Chris yelled "Noah, My shoes? Where are they?"

"I don't know!" Noah yelled at him "Wherever you put them! Look everyone who is ready get in the car!"

"Technically it's a limo" Zeke stared at Noah like he was stupid and Noah just glared at him

"Listen" Noah grabbed him by his shirt collar "Do you understand how stressed I am? If you have everything you need then go and get in the limo right now!"

Zeke sighed and decided that he would just get into the vehicle to prevent Noah from having a bitch fit. The second Noah managed to get rid of Zeke Tyler started calling his name and then fell down the stairs and as usual not one person in this room could care less.

"What do you want?" Noah rolled his eyes

"I don't want to drive…." Tyler told him "It's scary and I don't want to endanger anyone"

"I..I honestly don't know what to tell you" Noah sighed "Just…Go outside and watch Zeke or something"

Tyler then sighed as he went outside because he thought Noah was being a bit bossy.

"Where are the girls?" Noah asked out loud "Heather! Courtney! Let's go! Get in the limo now!"

Heather came downstairs glaring at Noah

"What do you want?" Heather demanded to know "I'm here and I'm ready and I'm going to go outside now which is something you have yet to do"

"Whatever" Noah crossed his arms annoyed at these people and their sass "Where the hell is Courtney?"

"Being stupid" Heather told him "Same with Chris and Duncan"

"What the hell are they doing!" Noah yelled "They better not be goofing off"

"Courtney is acting like this is prom" Heather told him "Chris is looking for his shoes and Duncan is helping which as you can imagine is making everything worse"

Heather then got into the car as Noah just rolled his eyes thinking about how stupid everyone was. Courtney came downstairs in a puffy pink dress that came to her knees. Noah stared at her.

"Seriously?" Noah asked her "What the hell is this?"

"My outfit for the parent teacher meeting" Courtney told him "What does it look like?"

"Like you got rejected for a date to the prom" Noah told her "Get in the car"

Courtney figured Noah was just Jealous and got into the limo. Chris and Duncan came down shortly after and it appeared they were arguing over something.

"YOU THREW ALL MY SHOES IN THE POOL!" Chris yelled "Why!"

"I told you I didn't want to go to the stupid meeting" Duncan told him

"Well guess what!" Chris shouted at him "I'm going and I'm not going to wear shoes so take that!"

"As much as I'm enjoying this intelligent conversation I would appreciate you all getting in the car" Noah instructed them. Once in the car Chris decided that Tyler was going to be forced to drive. Zeke brought a half eaten apple for Mrs. Zappner and Chris was singing radio songs really badly. Duncan and Noah started talking as it was the only decent thing to do and they were sitting next to each other so that was all they could hear over Chris's shitty singing.

"Were here" Noah said after what seemed like forever "Tyler! Turn off the radio!"

"I should be a judge on a singing show" Chris smiled at himself Grabbing Zeke by the arm

"You can't judge what you don't have" Zeke laughed and Duncan high fived him

Chris smacked Zeke upside his head and glared at him. They finally made it to Mrs. Zappner's room and they of course all showed up looking like freaks.

"Can I help you?" Mrs. Zappner just looked at them and Chris was already getting annoyed

"Yes, you can" Chris told her "I'm Chris Mclean and you wanted me here"

"I see" told him "I'm honored you could make it here"

"As you should be" Chris smirked "I'm kind of a huge deal"

"Who are all they?" Mrs. Zappner asked "Is that girl aware that what she is wearing is not appropriate for school?"

"Hey!" Courtney yelled "I dressed my best"

"Told you she wouldn't like it" Noah smirked at Courtney

"Whatever" Courtney stormed out of the room

"That's Courtney" Chris told the teacher "She's hired help….she's kinda bad at it but she works for free so I tolerate her."

"Oh very well then" Mrs. Zappner told them "Can everyone leave who is not in this class or a parent?"

Tyler, Courtney, Heather and Noah just stand there looking

"She's trying to tell you to GET OUT!" Chris pushed them all away

"Thank you Mr. McLean" Mrs. Zappner sighed "Now about Ezekiel and Duncan"

"What about them?" Chris asked her while Duncan and Zeke stood there and Chris started climbing on desks

"Mr. Mclean please refrain from doing that" Mrs. Zappner told Chris who was hopping from one desk to another

"Me?" Zeke asked and Duncan shook his head

"Not not you" Mrs. Zappner told him "The other Mr. Mclean"

"Oh me?" Chris asked her jumping from chair to chair and playing with a globe

"Yes, You" Mrs. Zappner told him "Do you mind stopping what you're doing and coming over here and listening?"

"This isn't fun at all" Chris told her "You're a really boring lady no wonder my kid hates you"

"Dude!" Zeke yelled "You promised you wouldn't tell her I said that!"

"Oops" Chris laughed "Guess I lied"

Duncan was dying on the floor with laughter at this point.

"Listen" Mrs. Zappner told him "You need to take this seriously or else"

"Or else what?" Chris laughed "You're going to make me do math and count your wrinkles?"

"That's it!" Mrs. Zappner was mad at Chris now "Expelled both of them!"

"Expelled?" Chris asked

"Yes, They are Expelled" Mrs. Zappner told Chris

"Huh?" Chris asked "I really don't know what that means"

"Dude, it means we can't go here anymore" Duncan told him laughing

"Thank god!" Zeke happily jumped up and down

"Then what am I supposed to do with him?" Chris pointed at Zeke "He's weird and I need somewhere to dump him off for the day"

"That's not my problem" Mrs. Zappner told him "But I'm really thinking about calling child services on you for your unique way of parenting"

"Why thank you" Chris happily told her "So when can this expelling thing be over and I can pawn this kid off on you?"

"You can't" Mrs. Zappner told him "It doesn't end so I'm afraid that means you'll have to home school him"

"Just like when I lived with mom!" Zeke told Chris who glared at him as they walked out of Mrs. Zappner's room closing the door behind them

"Like when you lived with mom?" Chris glared "This is how you got home schooled in the first place isn't it?"

"Kinda" Zeke told him "Mom didn't like the way they were teaching things so she punched the principal in the face and then she got mad when they tried to make up things about World War 2"

"Two?" Chris asked "There was a first world war?"

"I think so" Zeke told him

They walked down the hall and found Tyler, Courtney, Heather and Noah at some bake sale table buying baked goods. They were all stuffing their faces.

"How did it go?" Noah asked eating a brownie

"We get expelled" Zeke told him happily "Isn't it great!"

"No!" Chris glared at him "It's not! It means I'm stuck with you all day!"

"Well this was obviously a waste of time then" Noah smirked "To think Courtney got dressed up for nothing"

"Shut up!" Courtney told him "I got that guy's number over there so it wasn't a complete waste!"

"Can we get ice cream?" Zeke asked

"You just got expelled do you really think you deserve ice cream?" Chris asked

"Yeah" Zeke smiled at him "Please?"

"Fine" Chris sighed "I guess we can go"

"Yes!" Tyler yelled "Ice cream!"

"You're not going" Chris told him "Just Zeke and me and were gonna walk so I could care less what you idiots do"

Chris then started dragging Zeke off to find ice cream even though neither of them had a clue where the hell they were going. After getting lost for 30 minutes and arguing over and over again over which way to go Chris decided that he was the parent and "What he said was automatically right even if he was wrong" and those were his exact words. They finally found the damn place Chris ordered what he wanted with no problems at all. He wanted Rocky Road the problem was what Zeke wanted.

"Hurry up!" Chris yelled as Zeke stood there staring at the ice cream through the glass "Just pick something! A line formed because of you!"

"Hang on, eh" Zeke told him "What's the brown kind?" and Chris and the ice cream girl sighed

"It's chocolate" Chris sighed "The white one is Vanilla and the Brown is chocolate and the pink one is strawberry and that green one is mint! Did I cover everything?"

"What about the blue one?" Zeke asked as the line of people behind them starting cursing

"It's cotton candy" Chris told him "What the hell do you want! Just pick something!"

"What's the green one again?" Zeke asked "Is it like alien toxic waste?"

"Would you eat it if it was?" Chris asked "Do you have the desire to eat alien toxic waste?"

"I dunno" Zeke sighed "They all look so good"

"Okay here's what were going to do" Chris told the ice cream girl "I want you to put Strawberry, Chocolate, Vanilla, Mint and Cotton Candy into the blender and make it into a shake and then I don't care how bad it tastes he is going to eat it"

The lady did just as she was told and handed it to Zeke and as they walked out of the ice cream place people cheered for the simple fact they left. Zeke took a sip and almost gagged and Chris just laughed

"What's the matter?" Chris asked eating his ice cream

"This sucks" Zeke whined "You mixed a bunch of nasty flavors together"

"Sucks to be you" Chris laughed at him

"Trade with me!" Zeke told him "C'mon please?"

"No way!" Chris told him eating his "Mine is good and yours looks nasty"

"That's exactly why you should trade with me" Zeke begged "Please?"

"Whatever" Chris finally gave up and handed his to Zeke who happily ate it "We better get home, I have to find a daycare or something for you to do tomorrow"

"What about Home School?" Zeke asked "Aren't you supposed to do it? Classes usually start at 8am on a school day"

"To bad" Chris laughed "If I'm doing this I'm not getting up until at least noon"

Chris and Zeke then attempted to go home but then got lost again and eventually had to call Noah to figure out where the hell they were and Chris refused to read the street signs saying that only losers knew what street they live on and that also brought up the argument between Noah and Chris that EVERYONE should know what street they live on and now everyone knew that Chris had no idea what street he lived on. Eventually they found their way home and Chris passed out on one couch and Zeke on the opposite couch.

Tomorrow was going to be a long day now that Zeke was getting home schooled once again.


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I own nothing thus I cannot be sued.

It was 7am the next day and Courtney, Duncan, and Heather were all still sleeping. Noah got up at 5am to read and start his day. He knew he had to get dumb and dumber up so they could start their "School day" Noah knew he would have to help Chris would obviously not be able to teach Zeke. Noah walked over to the couch and promptly pushed Chris off the couch he was sleeping on.

"What the hell!" Chris yelled after he made a thud on the floor and Noah just laughed

"Time to get up" Noah told him "It's time for school"

"I don't wanna" Chris whined "Just let me sleep"

"You're not attending school" Noah told him "You get to teach your son"

"I don't wanna" Chris still whined "He's stupid anyway! He'll be just fine"

"The books are on the kitchen table" Noah told him "You better get to it!"

"What about him?" Chris asked pointing to a sleeping Zeke

"Your kid" Noah told him "You wake him! I have other things to do!"

Noah then left him to take care of Zeke as he went to go wake everyone else in this damn house up. Chris just sighed he hated parenthood so much! He really wished he had a hot daughter or a dog that he could leave outside all day, Anyone would have been a better candidate for a child then Zeke. Chris grabbed a pen and wrote on a piece of paper _List of things to redo when I buy a Time Machine _and under the number one thing it said _Accept Melanie Lancaster's offer to go out with you because 20 years from now she'll be a hot model and not a dork with constant snot dripping from her nose_. Chris crossed that off the list as number one and changed number 1 to _Change opinion about condoms! Don't vow to never use them that will result in idiot son! _

Chris then decided that since Noah got him up he needed to get his son up. Chris decided the only fatherly way to do this was to run into the kitchen and grab hot water to throw on Zeke. Once he threw it on Zeke the boy shot up swearing at Chris.

"What the hell!" Zeke yelled "That burned!"

"But it was funny" Chris laughed "They say hot water always wakes people up! It may have actually been cold water but I forgot so I guessed and I figured hot water would work"

"I hate you" Zeke mumbled

"I hate you too" Chris laughed "C'mon! It's edumacationation time!"

"I don't think that's a real word, Eh" Zeke yawned as he followed Chris into the kitchen

"Trust me it is" Chris glared at him "I'm a TV host! I'm not allowed to make up words!"

"Sure…" Zeke yawned again "So what are you teaching me?"

"He's not" Noah walked into the room "I am"

"Great!" Chris perked up "Then I'll just leave you to it while I go play video games or something else not involving my son's life!"

"you need to stay" Noah told him "So you can be involved in what he's learning"

"But isn't that what I'm paying you for?" Chris asked and Noah ignored him

"Can I go take a piss, Eh?" Zeke asked

"Whatever" Noah rolled his eyes "Just hurry up"

It was about 15 minutes later and Noah realized that Zeke obviously got distracted by something else.

"He's not going to come back" Noah sighed "This must be what he gets from you, The short attention span"

"Hey look!" Chris pointed out the window laughing "I found him!"

"Seriously?" Noah rolled his eyes "He's outside playing around in a pile of mud?"

"I guess so" Chris smirked at Noah

"Shouldn't you do something about that?" Noah asked him "Like go get him?"

"get him?" Chris asked "Why would I do that?"

"So we can start school work?" Noah suggested

"Forget that!" Chris ran out the door "I'm gonna go join him and throw some at Blainley's house"

Noah watched in disbelief as Chris and Zeke played in mud and then started throwing it at Blainley's house. Noah was just thankful that when they came inside it wasn't his job to clean them up, Noah then smirked when he realized just whose job it was.

"Oh Courtney! Oh Heather!" Noah yelled "You ladies might want to come and see this!"

**Wait until you see what happens when those two come inside and what do you think of Chris's list? XD**


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: I own nothing except my ideas for this story.

It was 2 hours later and raining now and Chris and Zeke have yet to come inside. Heather and Courtney watched them in disgust from the window as they played in the mud.

"This is ridiculous!" Courtney yelled "What is wrong with them!"

"Obviously they're idiots" Heather agreed "Simple as that, we all knew Chris was strange but now we know he's also a moron"

"I'm so glad for once this is not my problem" Noah sighed in relief

"So what the hell are we supposed to do with them anyway?" Heather asked

"Wait for them to get bored and come inside and persuade them to change clothes and shower" Noah instructed the girls.

Noah then got up taking the school books with him and went into the living room leaving Courtney and Heather to deal with that. While they were attempting to do that Duncan walked into the living room laughing as he handed Noah the phone which resulted in cursing from Noah and laughing from Duncan, the girls decided to see what was going on and listen into the conversation.

"No, that's not necessary" Noah sighed

Duncan laughed

"It will get cleaned up" Noah told her "I promise you that Blainley"

Duncan laughed more and Courtney and Heather looked confused

"No, Blainley" Noah told her "You don't need to call the police I'm going to go bring them inside now"

Heather finally caught on to the conversation and started laughing along with Duncan.

"I didn't know he took his clothes off" Noah sighed "I'm aware that it is not appropriate and you don't want to see him naked and I'll be sure to tell Chris that you don't want to see him without pants on"

By this time Heather, Courtney and Duncan were all laughing at the conversation that Noah was apparently having with Blainley.

"Okay, that's fine" Noah agreed "I promise you that Chris will personally hire someone to come over and clean the outside of your house"

The 3 of them continued to laugh at Noah as Noah simply glared at them hinting for them to shut their faces. Sadly for Noah they did not.

"Sorry, It's just the idiots" Noah told Blainley on the phone glaring at the 3 of them laughing "No, not those idiots they're still outside"

Noah then said "Uh-Huh" and "Sure sounds good" a few times and then sighed yet again obviously annoyed by this phone call

"What do you mean you want Chris to personally clean the outside of your house?" Noah was annoyed now "I don't think I can make him do that, I just don't think he would be willing to do that"

Noah then stopped talking for a minute obviously listening to Blainley bitch about something.

"So if he won't do it then you'll definitely call the cops?" Noah sighed "Okay, here's what I'm going to do, I'll write your number down and then when he comes inside I'll have him call you back and I'm sure you can both work something out….Or at least try"

Noah then wrote Blainley's number down on a piece of paper and hung up the phone sighing and glaring at the 3 of them who listened in to the whole conversation.

"Blainley is such a bitch" Heather laughed

"Apparently" Noah agreed "She said she's going to call the police if we don't get Chris and Zeke inside and have Chris personally wash down the outside of her house, Also Chris took his clothes off which apparently offends Blainley and this is also not the first time he's done this"

"So what do you want us to do about it?" Courtney asked even though she could care less.

"Heather and Courtney get a bath and or shower ready for Chris and Zeke" Noah instructed "Duncan go find Tyler and get both of them inside this house"

"What the hell are you going to be doing?" Heather demanded to know

"Sadly, I have to make some calls and explain to everyone why on earth Chris is behind 3 months on his bills and then pay them" Noah told her

"Why the hell didn't Chris do this?" Heather asked "How the hell is he even getting electricity or water or heat then?"

"Because he's Chris Mclean and he can do whatever he wants" Noah rolled his eyes and left the room talking to him self

Duncan left the girls to start getting the bathrooms ready and he found Tyler who was still paranoid about the whole driving thing. They went outside to find the rain had stopped and Chris and Zeke were still playing around in the mud and Chris was in fact very naked.

"Dude, what the hell?" Duncan asked Chris "Why did you take off your clothes?"

"I like the mud between my ass crack" Chris told him as Duncan shook his head and picked up Chris's muddy clothes off the ground "C'mon it's time to go inside it's been almost 3 hours!"

"You can't tell me what to do" Chris told him "I'm your employer so I call the shots"

"C'mon man!" Tyler tried reasoning with Chris "Let's go inside already, you too Zeke"

"Whatever" Chris rolled his eyes and got up from the mud completely naked "Let's go, Zeke"

"Aren't you going to put clothes on first?" Tyler asked

"Aren't you going to go pick up my dry cleaning?" Chris glared "I think you are…NOW"

Tyler sighed

"Where is the place?" Tyler sulked

"About an hour away" Chris told him "You could always drive there"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Tyler yelled and Chris just laughed

"Take Duncan with you" Chris instructed

"Whatever, Beats being here" Duncan admitted "Oh, Noah wants to talk to you when you're done with your shower"

Duncan and Tyler then went to get Chris's dry cleaning and Tyler was almost in tears knowing he would have to drive yet again.

Chris could care less what those two did, He grabbed Zeke and walked into his house only to immediately have Courtney and Heather approach both of them basically screaming at them.

"You better not make a mess of the floor" Courtney told them "I just cleaned it"

"But, It's my house" Chris told her "I can make a mess wherever I want"

"Whatever" Courtney sighed "Just take a shower, I set towels up"

"Are you gonna help me, Eh?" Zeke asked Heather

"Help you with what?" Heather asked "You're 15 or 16 I think you can handle that yourself"

"But your hired help" Zeke told her "So you gotta help me with whatever I want"

"He's right" Chris informed her "Plus, If you don't help him I have to and I don't wanna do that"

Heather sighed and grabbed Zeke and went upstairs leaving Courtney and Chris alone.

"Well?" Courtney looked at Chris

"Well what?" Chris smirked

"Aren't you going to take a bath?" Courtney asked

"Aren't you going to help?" Chris smirked at her

"Eww No" Courtney told him "You are a grown man that is capable of doing that himself"

"Capable yes, Lazy is also a good word for me" Chris told her "I can do it myself but that is what I have you here for"

"So you're telling me that you want me to come into the bathroom with you?" Courtney asked him

"Yes, That is exactly what I'm telling you" Chris smirked "I'm already naked so why not?"

"Oh god…." Courtney realized he WAS naked and that she completely forgot for a second "Are you sure you wouldn't rather go yourself?"

"I'm positive" Chris laughed "Let's go!"

* * *

(With Heather and Zeke)

"Okay, So now what?" Heather asked putting the toilet seat down and sitting on it "What the hell could you possibly want me in here for?"

"Could you hand me a wash cloth?" Zeke asked

"You have 3 of them" Heather pointed to them

"Can I get some bubbles in here?" Zeke smiled at Heather

"Sure…." Heather sighed hating her job. She got the bubbles and poured them in "Happy?"

"Can you get me a toy duck?" Zeke asked

"I doubt it" Heather rolled her eyes "Before we were staying here it was just Chris so do you really think he would have a toy duck?"

"Why not, Eh?" Zeke asked "Everyone likes ducks"

"Listen, I'll look because I have to" Heather told him "But let me tell you that I think you're an idiot and I'm pretty sure there won't be a duck anywhere in this house so I suggest you save both of us the trouble of looking"

"So, you going to look for that duck?" Zeke asked "It's not doing to find itself"

"Fine" Heather agreed and started looking in every place in the bathroom for a damn duck and eventually found something that she hoped was just as good "I found this little red boat"

"That will do!" Zeke happily said as Heather threw it in the tub at him

"Good" Heather rolled her eyes "Can I go now? I think you can handle it from here"

"No, you need to stay here and make boat noises, Eh" Zeke informed her

"Are you kidding me?" Heather yelled

* * *

(With Courtney and Chris)

"Happy I'm in the tub?" Chris sighed at Courtney "I even made sure to keep the floor clean"

"First of all making you take a bath wasn't my idea" Courtney told him "It was actually Noah's and second of all you could have taken a shower for all I care"

"If I took a shower then how would you wash me?" Chris asked her like she was an idiot

"Excuse me?" Courtney asked confused "You mean you except me to do that? You're like 40 I think you should know how to do it yourself"

"Yeah, but why would I do it when your job is to do stuff for me?" Chris asked

"So, your just a lazy bum?" Courtney glared at him

"That's one way to look at it" Chris smiled "I like to think of it as Chef's vacation"

"Chef usually does this?" Courtney asked in disgust

"Unless my mom is here" Chris told her "But she's like 80 now and can't do it as good as she used to"

"Wow…." Courtney managed to say "So…Uh….What exactly do you want me to do?"

"You can start by shampooing my hair" Chris instructed pointing to his hair.

Courtney kneeled down and started apply shampoo to his hair, eventually making suds on his head. Courtney was about to rinse his hair when Noah walked in.

"This is weird" Noah laughed walking in "Thank god it's not my job"

"What do you want?" Chris sighed "You're ruining my relaxing time with your big words"

"What word was a big word?" Noah questioned

"Weird, Job, Thank and poodle" Chris told him

"I never mentioned a poodle" Noah told him "However I do need to discuss something with you and it can't wait anymore"

"Which is?" Chris sighed in annoyance

"You need to call Blainley" Noah told him "She wants you to wash the outside of her house and stop being naked"

This of course got Chris's attention he quickly grabbed Noah's Cell Phone and decided to give Blainley a piece of his mind.

"_Hello?" Blainley answered _

"_Blainley? It's Chris" Chris told her "I heard you were having a problem with me and wanted me to call you!"_

"_That's right" Blainley told him "I don't really appreciate the way you act around the neighborhood in fact most of the neighbors can't stand you and that's saying something since we live across the street from Robert Pattinson _ _who has all these screaming girls standing on the street at all hours screaming, If you can be more annoying then him you know we really hate you" _

"_You know what?" Chris told Blainley "You can suck an egg!"_

"_Excuse me?" Blainley asked "Are you trying to tell me that you won't be fixing the damage you have done to my house?"_

"_Exactly" Chris told her "I'm Chris Mclean and I can do whatever I want and I can assure you that I won't be doing anything of that sort"_

"_Did Noah tell you what will happen if you don't do as I ask?" Blainley asked _

"_No, He didn't" Chris told her "But, Bring it on!" _

Chris then angrily hung up on Blainley and threw the phone at Noah

"Problem solved" Chris told Noah

"You do realize what's going to happen don't you?" Noah asked

"Nope" Chris laughed "But I guess we'll find out"

Not even 10 minutes later the doorbell rang and the next thing everyone knew Heather was at the bathroom door telling them the police were downstairs and wanted to talk to Chris.


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: I own nothing!

A/N: If anyone is actually still reading this I apologize for the long delay in this chapter! I did not give up on this! Expect more soon!

Within minutes of being told the police were downstairs Chris threw on his bath robe and quickly went to talk to them along with Courtney, Noah, Heather and Zeke who was also in a bath robe.

"Hello Officers" Chris greeted the frowning police officers

"Good evening sir" The officer told him "I'm officer Shitty and this is officer Doody"

"What kind of names are they?" Chris laughed "Anyway, What can I do for you officers? Come to relieve yourselves in my bathroom Officer Shitty?" Noah elbowed him to shut up and stop laughing

"IT'S PRONOUNCED OFFICER SHIT-TAY!" Officer Shitty yelled "HIS NAME IS PRONOUNCED DO-DAY!"

"Yeah!" Officer Doody yelled "Why does everyone always insist on the toilet humor!"

"Maybe you should get better names?" Chris suggested as Noah shook his head

"Were terribly sorry for your unfortunate names" Noah apologized "However as delightful as this conversation is you still have yet to tell us why you are visiting us"

"We have received quite a few complaints about this house" Officer Doody told them "Various neighbors have been complaining about Mr. McClain and his new houseguest" The police stared at Zeke

"I'm not a houseguest, Eh!" Zeke told the cops "I live here with my dad"

"Unfortunately…." Chris sighed "Listen, Officers this is private property and I'll do whatever I want"

"Sir, You still have to follow rules" Officer Shitty told him "Even Robert Pattinson has to follow the rules…."

"I'm better than him though" Chris explained "I host my own show"

"Which I wasn't allowed to be on!" Zeke yelled

"Shut it Zeke!" Chris yelled "You were too on it!"

"Yeah, But you kicked me off because I'm your son!" Zeke defended himself

"No!" Chris yelled "I kicked you off because you are the worst player EVVVERRRRRR!

"How could you say that, Eh?" Zeke yelled "I WAS IN IT TO WIN IT!"

"Which you never did!" Chris yelled

"I HATE YOU!" Zeke yelled "WORST PARENT EVER!"

Zeke then started to pick his nose and examine and eat the contents from it.

"STOP DOING THAT!" Chris yelled "IF YOU DON'T I'M GOING TO PUNISH YOU!"

"HOW WILL YOU DO THAT?" Zeke yelled "YOU ARE THE WORST DAD EVER AND YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO PUNISH CHILDREN!"

"Guys…" Heather reminded them "The police are still here and you're not exactly helping your case Chris…"

"STAY OUTTA THIS HEATHER!" Chris yelled "ZEKE, UPSTAIRS NOW! I'M GOING TO COME UPSTAIRS AND PROPERLY PUNISH YOU AFTER I DEAL WITH THIS! AND I KNOW HOW TO DO IT TOO CAUSE I READ PARENTING BOOKS AND A BOOK ON HOW TO FIX THE LEAKY FAUCET IN THE KITCHEN SO NOW I CAN SAVE $300 BY FIXING IT MYSELF SO WHAT DO YOU ALL THINK ABOUT THAT?"

Zeke stomped upstairs

"I don't believe you'll be able to fix that faucet…." Noah giggled "I think you'll fail miserably"

"Yeah, I agree" Courtney laughed

"This is a strange house" Officer Shitty commented "Listen, You are going to have to clean up the damage from Blainley's house and stop parking your cars on her lawn!"

"Also, you will have to pay $5,000 for disturbing the peace in the neighborhood and a weekend of community service" Officer Doody added in

"What is this community service?" Chris asked Noah looking really confused

"You have to volunteer your time to a place" Noah told him

"Volunteer means free?" Chris looked disgusted

"Yes" Noah told him "Think of it as making a celebrity guest appearance that you won't get paid for…."

"Can I just pay you $10,000 and we can call it a day?" Chris asked making puppy eyes at Officer Shitty and Doody

"No" Officer Doody told him "You get to spend your weekend working with the elderly at a place called Elderly wonderland"

"So what does that mean?" Chris asked Noah once again as Noah just sighed realizing Chris really is an idiot

"It means that this weekend you get to make friends and take care of old people" Noah told him

"I still don't get it" Chris sighed "Why am I doing this again?"

"Because if you don't" Officer Shitty told him "You'll be hosting your show from jail…."

"I can't host my show from jail you silly police idiots" Chris laughed

"Exactly" Officer Doody glared at him "Don't make us come back….We don't want to come visit you again"

The police officers then gave Chris his fine and wrote a report and left

"Never a boring moment around here" Courtney told the group

"The work is done so can we enjoy the rest of our night?" Heather asked Chris

"Heather and Courtney you guys are free to do whatever you want" Chris told them "It's been a long day! Noah why don't you call it a night too? I need you up by 6am tomorrow so I can discuss my new plans for my new season of total drama with you"

"What about you?" Noah asked "You going to sleep too?"

"Soon" Chris smirked "I still have one thing left to do!"

"Oh god…." Noah mumbled "Do I dare ask what it might be?"

"I get to punish Zeke for picking his nose after I told him numerous times to stop!" Chris excitedly told Noah

"You're happy about this?" Noah asked puzzled

"Yes!" Chris told him "This has to be the best part about being a parent! I get to yell at him some more now!"

"Thank god my room is nowhere near his" Noah told Chris as he went to his room, Heather and Courtney were already gone.

* * *

Chris walked up the many stairs in his house and down the many hallways that were in it too! Chris was thinking to himself he really should install elevators in this place. Finally he got to Zeke's room and he was quite frankly excited to punish Zeke because that's just something he really thought would be fun and he was really sick of Zeke putting his fingers in his nose and if Zeke was going to be forced to attend these red carpet events with him then this just wouldn't be acceptable and Chris felt he needed to learn his lesson.

**KNOCK **

**KNOCK **

**KNOCK **

"Open the door" Chris demanded and got no response

**KNOCK **

**KNOCK **

**KNOCK **

"Zeke!" Chris yelled "Open this door right now!" and he still got no response

**KNOCK**

**KNOCK **

**KNOCK **

"Listen here you nose picking little asshole! Open this door right now or your punishment will be worse!"

**KNOCK **

**KNOCK **

**KNOCK **

"This is the last time I'm knocking!" Chris yelled "If you don't open this door right now I'm just coming in and you won't like it if I have to just come in without knocking! I'm going to count to 3"

**1….**

"Last chance…." Chris warned

**2….**

"I mean it Zeke!" Chris told him

**3….**

"ARE YOU TRYING TO TEST MYPATIENCE?" Chris yelled

All of a sudden Zeke opened up the door across the hall from the one Chris was yelling at

"What are you bitching about now, Eh?" Zeke glared at him

"I'm bitching at you!" Chris yelled

"Wrong bedroom" Zeke laughed

"Don't correct me….." Chris mumbled realizing he did in fact have the wrong door

"Can I watch T.V. If I like tell you I'm sorry and stuff like that?" Zeke asked

"No, because I'm the parent and I want to punish you" Chris smirked "I came to do that and I won't leave until I'm done"

"Are you doing to punish the door across the hall too, Eh?" Zeke asked laughing and Chris just glared

"No! I read some parenting books" Chris told him "Actually I scanned quickly through a parenting book for 5 minutes and then I used it as a coaster so my glass of beer wouldn't leave a ring on my wooden coffee table! I thought of this really neat punishment all by myself!"

Zeke appeared to be scared of this thought because he knew Chris's ideas were dangerous and it would most likely be worse than anything a normal parent could possibly do. He still thought living with Chris was better than joining his mother in the circus. Chris was already laughing so Zeke knew this would be bad.

"Put both of your hands out" Chris laughed "Palms facing up!"

"I..I…Don't want too…." Zeke told him "Are you going to smack my hands? A high five doesn't sound bad…."

"You have no idea how wrong you are" Chris laughed again as Zeke finally put his hands out

Chris then took out of his pocket a bottle of Gorilla Glue (If you don't know what it is Google it!) and then pour it on Zeke's hands and clapped Zeke's hands together.

"What the hell, Eh!" Zeke complained

"Let them dry" Chris told him "Now you won't be picking your nose for awhile"

"Now I can't do anything for awhile" Zeke complained "How long do I have to stay like this?"

"Until you can get your hands unstuck" Chris laughed "Well have a good night"

Chris then pushed Zeke on to his bed and turned off the lights

"Can you leave the door open in case I need to pee during the night?" Zeke asked "Cause it might be hard to open the door with my hands like this…."

"Sure!" Chris told him "I'll leave the door open for you"

**SLAM **

Chris made sure to promptly slam his door shut on the way out.

"That'll teach him to make me feel stupid in my own home…." Chris told himself over and over all the way downstairs to the kitchen where he was still telling himself that as he made himself a bowl of soup as Tyler and Duncan walked in finally back from picking up the dry cleaning.

"Where is everyone?" Tyler asked Chris

"In their rooms for the night" Chris told them "Don't open Zeke's door no matter how much he begs! I will not be made a full of in my own house…."

"Okay then…." Duncan backed out of the room slowly "Can we go upstairs too?"

"Yup" Chris laughed to himself and continued to eat his soup

Tyler and Duncan made it all the way to the top of the stairs still hearing Chris laugh to himself

"I feel like were seriously missing something…" Duncan told Tyler

"Me too" Tyler agreed "I think it's for the best…."

Tyler and Duncan then went to their rooms calling it a night


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: I own nothing at all.

A/N: Good to see that I still have people who enjoy this! I'm so happy you guys didn't give up on me! Hope you like this chapter and Remember that reviews encourage me to get over my writers block! Good or bad reviews I accept all and I have it so you don't need an account to review it! I would love more reviews from you guys so I know if I'm taking this in the right direction!

The next morning Noah was the first one to wake up at 5:17am which was fine with him because he got to enjoy the peace and quiet in the house when everyone else was asleep, He got to do the hard work so the mornings were his time to relax with the exception of this morning where a loud banging could be heard coming from somewhere in the house, At first Noah tried to ignore it but after this happened for longer then 10 minutes Noah had enough.

"What the hell is that?" Noah asked himself as he followed the noise upstairs "How is everyone sleeping through that?"

Noah then found himself outside of a bedroom door and Noah sighed knowing that everyone who lived here was an idiot and questioned if he really wanted to open the door. Noah decided that he really didn't want to open it at all but he did work for Chris and that meant he really didn't have a choice.

"What's going on in here?" Noah opened only to hit Zeke's head with the door

"Ouch!" Zeke complained "Watch it! Can't you see I'm trying to leave?"

"What exactly did you plan to accomplish by banging your head off the door?" Noah smirked at him

"I can't open it" Zeke complained "I've been trying to use my head to open the door for 3 hours now! I really need to pee, Eh!"

"Why couldn't you just open the door like a normal person?" Noah sighed shaking his head at Zeke

"Turn on the light" Zeke told Noah "Then you'll understand man!"

Noah decided to humor the poor stupid boy and turn on his light and that's when he saw Zeke's hands were super glued together from last night.

"Did you do this?" Noah asked him

"No!" Zeke told him "My stupid dad did it! He said something about reading some book, eh!"

"Chris…." Noah sighed "Okay, let's go!"

"Where are we going?" Zeke asked "I hope it's to a bathroom, I really need to go!"

"I don't have time for this" Noah told him "I have to plan the next season of total drama and get Chris to the old folks home so obviously you can't stay here by yourself under normal conditions let alone with your hands stuck together, I also can't expect the girls to watch you so that only leads me with one option and that option requires you to tell me what you want for the day so I can pack it and then get in the car"

"Packing stuff for the day, Eh! Why can't I just stay here?" Zeke whined "Your pawning me off on a babysitter aren't you?"

Noah just ignored Zeke and grabbed a bag and started filling it with stuff

"Nintendo DS" Noah said to himself as he grabbed it "DVD's and a portal DVD player"

"I don't need a babysitter, Eh!" Zeke complained "I can't even play a DS with my hands like this! Can't I just go with my dad to the old folk's home?"

"No, Chris and I are very busy today" Noah told him "We don't need you in the way! In fact I'm sure Chris will screw something up but he has no choice but to help the elderly and that means I get to do everything for Chris meaning that I get to plan the new season of total drama"

"You sound like an old married couple" Zeke told Noah while he tried to pull his hands apart "Can't I just ask my dad if I can go with him?"

"Do you need anything else?" Noah asked "Do you want me to pack you snacks and your cell phone so Chris can call you later?"

"Why do you have to ignore me?" Zeke asked Noah "Lighten up! I don't even wanna go anywhere today!"

"I have to be serious" Noah told him "Someone around here needs to be and I'm getting paid for it so do you want a snack and your phone?"

"Whatever" Zeke told him "I'll be waiting out by the limo since you're forcing me to go! But I am telling my dad you wouldn't let me go with him and then you'll be sorry, Eh!"

Zeke then stormed out of his room and stomped down the hallway with his hands still stuck together.

"I hope he knows I'm not that serious, I just think he's an idiot" Noah laughed to himself "Just to piss him off I think I'll pack him 3 snacks and his phone and maybe I'll text him throughout the day!"

Noah then laughed to himself realized how Zeke said he was going to meet him in the limo

"Idiot" Noah laughed to himself "If his hands don't work he's not going to get further then the front door…."

Noah then decided it was time to wake Tyler up so Tyler could take them where they needed to be. Tyler then started to freak out even more because he knew he was a bad driver and really didn't want to drive at all let alone this early in the morning.

"It's 6am!" Tyler told him "It's still dark out! I don't see well driving at night or the day!"

"Tyler, you need to get over this!" Noah told him "I have to drop him off and he's really irritable this morning and I don't want to deal with him any longer then I need to!"

"Can't you take him yourself, Man?" Tyler asked "I'll give you the keys"

"Tyler, I need you" Noah told him "After we drop him off I need you to bring me back here so we can take Chris to visit old people!"

"WHAT!" Tyler yelled "Why can't we just take them both at once!"

"Because Chris is an annoying person that were forced to deal with" Noah told him "I'll get Chris up now and you just meet me outside at the limo and have Zeke in it!"

"Fine" Tyler sighed as he gave in.

Tyler made his way down the steps and found Zeke stuck at the front door

"What in the world happened to you, dude?" Tyler asked

"Long Story" Zeke sighed "Open the door"

"So, where am I taking you?" Tyler asked as he opened the door and started walking with Zeke

"I don't know" Zeke told him "Noah just told me to get ready"

"I have no idea where were going either" Tyler opened the limo door and pushed Zeke in "Guess I'll find out soon"

* * *

**BANG **

**BANG**

**BANG**

"Chris!" Noah yelled "Time for you to get your lazy ass up!"

"It's only 6:15!" Chris yelled back

"You need to be ready by 7am!" Noah yelled "You have to care for the elderly or go to jail!"

"Alright!" Chris sighed "I'm up!" Chris told Noah as he opened his bedroom door

"Good" Noah told him "I have to go somewhere but I'll be back to pick you up by 7 so be ready"

Noah then ran down the stairs leaving Chris to stand alone in the hallway in his man thong. Chris stood there alone for 10 minutes before he decided to get on the intercom system

"WHERE THE HELL ARE MY PEOPLE!" Chris yelled "I'VE BEEN STANDING HERE FOR 10 MINUTES AND I HAVE YET TO HAVE MY ROBE ON AND A COFFEE IN MY HAND!"

The screaming over the intercom caused everyone who may have been sleeping to now be awake. Heather and Courtney quickly made it down the hall, Courtney had a Robe in her hands and Heather had a cup of Coffee.

"Took you long enough" Chris complained "Next time let's try to not leave the incredibly hot host standing here for 10 minutes in his underwear even though I know you both enjoy the view"

"Here" Heather handed him the coffee which he wouldn't take "Well?"

"Robe before coffee!" Chris told her looking at Courtney

"Oh fine!" Courtney yelled "Here your majesty!"

"Uh…No" Chris corrected her "You don't expect me to put it on myself do you?"

"You don't expect me to touch you while you're in a man thong do you?" Courtney asked

"I do" Chris laughed "You better hurry and do it! Noah is coming back for me soon!"

"Just do it already!" Heather yelled "Courtney, Why can't you just do what he asks and stop bitching about it?"

"See?" Chris smirked "Heather has the right attitude, Maybe you should try it her way"

Heather and Courtney just rolled their eyes at Chris as Courtney finally put the robe on him and Heather handed him his Coffee. After the girls continued to argue down the hall Chris still didn't know what to wear! He had all his favorite outfits lying out on his bed trying to decide what to wear! He never usually had to worry about this type of thing, Usually Noah or Chef would just put his clothes out for him, Lucky for Chris that Duncan just happened to be walking by!

"Duncan!" Chris called him "Come here man!"

"Yeah?" Duncan asked as he once again lit up a cigarette "What do you need?"

"I don't know what to wear" Chris told him frowning "Which one do you like better?"

"Does it matter?" Duncan asked

"Yes!" Chris told him "The press will be there! Should I wear my sundress or my Grammy awards suit?"

"You own a sundress?" Duncan laughed

"SHUT UP!" Chris told him "It's only for warm days when I tan around the pool"

"Well you can't wear either of those then….." Duncan told him looking into his closet "YOU SHOULD WEAR THIS!"

"My Grim Reaper Halloween costume?" Chris laughed "Why would I wear this?"

"To scare the old people!" Duncan laughed

"YES!" Chris agreed "BEST IDEA EVER!"

* * *

Noah and Zeke sat in silence in the limo as Tyler drove badly over the entire road.

"Sorry" Tyler mumbled as he hit a stop sign

"Tyler, you have hit over 28 objects and drove on the sidewalk 4 times, Are we close?" Noah asked him

"Almost" Tyler told Noah as he crashed into a park slide "Oops"

"Where are we going anyway?" Zeke asked "Are you going to help me get the glue off my hands?"

"Were here!" Tyler yelled from up front as Noah got out of the limo and pulled Zeke out with him as they started walking up a driveway and onto a pathway in front of a small house.

"Are you ready, Zeke?" Noah asked

"No" Zeke told him "I don't even know where we are"

"Don't do anything stupid" Noah told him "I'll be back for you at 5:30pm with Chris"

Zeke was about to ask where he was but before he could say anything Noah was ringing the doorbell and the next thing Zeke knew an older woman who appeared to be in her 70's answered the door

"What are you selling?" The lady yelled "I don't want any!"

"Actually" Noah spoke up "My name is Noah and I'm not selling anything, I'm the one you spoke with on the phone earlier"

"Oh that's right!" The lady told him "I remember you! You called me and asked me to watch that kid that nobody liked from Chris's stupid show!"

"That's right Mrs. McClain" Noah told her "This is Zeke and he's your grandson and I thought maybe you would like to get to know him better for the day"

"I remember him" Mrs. McClain told Noah "He was that horrible kid from the show! I was so happy when he got voted out! I never wanted Chris to be famous anyway! Hanging out with that weird Chef guy! He should be married with a wife and kids! Not hosting a show and finding out he has a son"

"Right…." Noah told her "Well I really should be going now"

"But you must admit Chris is a good man when the camera is not rolling!" Mrs. McClain told Noah "The Chris you see on TV is not the real Chris at all! I'm sure he treats his son well"

"I'm sure he is Mrs. McClain" Noah lied knowing very well what Chris is like off Camera "Have fun Zeke!"

"DON'T LEAVE ME HERE!" Zeke yelled as Mrs. McClain dragged him into the house and Noah quickly handed her the bag and headed home to get Chris.


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer: I own nothing at all!

Noah and Tyler were now badly driving all the way back to Chris's mansion, Once he got there Noah didn't like what he saw but at this point he didn't have time to correct the problem that Duncan and Chris caused, Sighing he looked over at Chris as he got into the Limo and finally asked Chris.

"What the hell are you wearing?" Noah sighed "Why would you wear that?"

"It was Duncan's idea" Chris smirked "Best idea EVERRRRR!"

"Not really" Noah told him "If I wasn't busy trying to get rid of Zeke for the day then you wouldn't be wearing that"

"I know!" Chris laughed "No supervision is the best thing ever!"

"I don't even know why I work for you….." Noah sighed as Tyler drove them to the nursing home with Chris dressed as the grim reaper, Duncan was going to pay for this.

Finally after 20 minutes of Tyler's bad driving they managed to make it to the nursing home.

"Dude! You're the worst driver ever!" Chris told him. "I thought I was going to die!"

"The man dressed as death going to die" Noah smirked "Interesting….."

"Dude, you have a flat tire" Chris pointed out "That's not safe for you to drive me anywhere! That screams human death trap!"

"Tyler, go get the tire fixed" Noah sighed "You'll need to hurry up! You have a lot to do today!"

"Can't someone else do it?" Tyler whined "I hate driving! Wanna trade?"

"No, I don't wanna trade!" Noah told him

"Why not?" Tyler asked "The tire is way easier then dealing with Chris!"

"If it's so easy then just do it" Noah told him

"I have an idea!" Chris told them and dialed his phone "Yeah…Uh-Uh….Tyler….Yup….TAKE THE BUS THEN BITCH!"

Chris then hung up the phone

"What did you just do?" Noah sighed "I'm afraid to know"

"I called Heather" Chris told them "She's taking the bus here to help Tyler with the tire!"

"That makes no sense at all" Noah told him "Why would you even call her?"

"It seemed like the right thing to do?" Chris shrugged "C'mon Noah, Let's get this over with"

* * *

Tyler sighed and waited for Heather, he knew if he didn't then he would have to hear her mouth too! Hopefully with any luck she would drive for him so he wouldn't have to.

"Stupid Chris….." Tyler kicked the limo "Ouch!"

Heather took the bus and finally found Tyler standing there.

"You couldn't do this by yourself?" Heather laughed "What the hell did you do to this? It's all smashed up!"

"Yeah, I know!" Tyler told her "Can you help me take it and get it fixed?"

"It's still drivable" Heather told him "We just need air in it"

"Wanna come with me to get some?" Tyler asked

"Duh!" Heather told him "You're my ride home! I'm not taking the bus!"

"Great!" Tyler tossed her the keys "You drive!"

"Whatever" Heather sighed getting in the limo "Let's go!"

* * *

Zeke was bored as hell, He was sitting on the living room floorwith his hands still stuck together, and this woman only bitched about everything. It was apparent that she was obviously Zeke's mother. It was also apparent that this woman was his mother by the fact of how unhelpful she was.

"So, I brought you some juice and orange slices" Mrs. Mclean put the plate down on the floor for Zeke.

"How do you expect me to eat these?" Zeke asked her "I can't even use my hands!"

"That would be a problem…" Mrs. Mclean told him "What if we go swimming after lunch?"

"Are you trying to drown me?" Zeke asked "I need my hands for that too, Eh!"

"Good point" Mrs. Mclean told him "I guess I would try to help you out…"

"Thank god!" Zeke told her "What sort of ideas do you have?"

"Have you tried Honey?" Mrs. Mclean asked "Maybe a honey bath would help you out!"

Mrs. Mclean then ran upstairs happily with at least 13 containers of pure honey

"Why the hell would Noah leave me with her?" Zeke asked himself "I still hate my dad for doing this to me…I wish I was anywhere but here! My grandma is nuts!"

Just then Zeke's phone went off and it was from Duncan.

_Hey. =) _

Appeared on his phone screen.

"I hate them" Zeke complained.

* * *

Chris and Noah made their way down the hallway at the nursing home. Everyone was In a bed or wheelchair and they were all watching TV or some shit like that.

"Why am I doing this again?" Chris asked Noah "They can just watch me on TV!"

"Do you want to go to jail?" Noah asked him "If you don't do this then you get to go to jail!"

"Oh….Yeah" Chris sighed as they made their way to the front desk.

"Can I help you?" a blonde woman asked them.

"Yes, my name is Noah" Noah told the woman "I'm here with Chris Mclean who is going to spend the day here with your residents"

"Dressed like that?" The woman asked him "Are you sure that's a good idea?"

"No, I'm honestly not" Noah told her "However we didn't have time for a wardrobe change"

"That's fine" The woman told him "However I can't allow him to take the scythe in with him"

"Too bad!" Chris yelled "I'm taking it with me!"

"Chris, just give it to her!" Noah told him "The press will be here soon….."

"So?" Chris asked him "That doesn't mean she's gonna tell me what to do!"

"It's a weapon, Sir" The woman told him "It's for the safety of everyone!"

"Do you want the press to come in here and find you like that?" Noah asked "Just give it!"

"No!" Chris told Noah "Duncan told me I could take it with me!"

"Who's Duncan?" The woman asked him "Isn't he that kid from the show?"

"Yes, he is" Chris told her "If Duncan were he would allow me to keep my scythe"

"If Duncan were here he would also be attending jail with you" Noah rolled his eyes

"That's normal though" Chris sighed "I'm giving my scythe to Noah because he's not a stupid bitch!"

"Whatever" Noah grabbed it "I won't let him use it….Can we just go in?"

"Whatever" The blonde lady told him "You're responsible for him!"

"When am I not?" Noah asked

The woman said nothing and Chris and Noah walked around to visit some old people. The old people were quite scared of Chris because he looked like death, most of them didn't want to talk to him or Noah.

"Can you at least put the hood down?" Noah asked

"Do I have to?" Chris asked "I like it that they won't talk to me"

"Just take it off" Noah told him "Why don't you just scare Zeke with it later?"

"BEST IDEA YET!" Chris agreed "Fine….I'll take it off….But you're helping me scare Zeke later!"

* * *

Back at Chris's moms house Zeke was currently in a bath tub full of Honey, nothing else but Honey and to top it all off he still had his clothes on, this was pretty much the most pointless thing he has ever done.

"Well?" Mrs. McLean asked

"It's not working" Zeke told her "I'm just sticky….."

"Oh well…." Mrs. McLean laughed "At least I got a good laugh out of it"

"Can I get out now?" Zeke asked

"Heavens no!" Mrs. Mclean laughed "You can just sit there until someone comes to get you"

"Now I know where my dad gets his sick twisted sense of humor" Zeke sighed and sat there.


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: Nada. **

_A/N: So yeah, I pretty much forgot about this story and haven't updated in a year! So, if you're reading this now that means your tolerated my writing over the years. I improved a lot since I last updated this. Someone had asked me to and I actually have the time to do it. So, yeah._

* * *

It was 5:43pm when the bathroom door opened and Courtney and Duncan came to get Zeke out of the tub. The second they opened the door Duncan started laughing and Courtney looked disgusted.

"What the hell happened to you?" Courtney asked Zeke.

"It's kinda obvious, eh!" Zeke told her "My grandma threw me in honey and my dad glued my hands together!"

"That's unfortunate." Courtney looked really grossed out. "It's more unfortunate for me than you, but yeah...it still blows!"

"Can I take a picture?" Duncan laughed.

"No! lift him out!" Courtney instructed Duncan.

"Yeah, but he's really sticky!" Duncan told Courtney

"I thought my dad was coming for me." Zeke told them.

"Yeah? well he's not." Courtney told him. "That's why he sent us!"

"So, how are you going to get his hands unstuck?" Duncan asked.

"Soap and hot water!" Courtney glared at Duncan "Men are idiots."

* * *

Back outside Chris's mansion. Heather had managed to get the limo to the house and she got air in the tires and even got them replaced and now she was changing the oil on the car. Tyler stood there and watched.

"How did you learn so much about cars?" Tyler asked her.

"My brother taught me." Heather told him. "But he's a loser and married some girl for love. He ruined his life."

"That's very...Family oriented of you..." Tyler awkwardly laughed.

"Yeah, I know." Heather smirked "I'm the breadwinner in my family obviously."

"Can I help in any way fix that car?" Tyler asked him.

"No. I think you've done enough!" Heather laughed "I can't believe you did all this damage to the car in a matter of a day!"

"I told them I was a bad driver!" Tyler complained. "Nobody will switch with me!"

"I'll switch with you." Heather agreed "I'd much rather drive than clean this stupid house all day!"

"Yes!" Tyler happily agreed "Thank you!"

"Yeah, well don't get used to it." Heather rolled her eyes. "I just don't want to work with Courtney."

* * *

Back inside the mansion Chris was now in his pajama's and Noah was rolling his eyes. They finished the day at the nursing home. They were never allowed back there ever again but at least they finished the time that Chris needed to. On the way home Chris refused to pick up Zeke and said he could just stay there.

"Once again, you're ability to neglect your child never amazes me." Noah told him.

"What?" Chris asked Noah. "I'm treating him just like everyone else!"

As soon as he said that Duncan and Courtney came into the house with Zeke behind them.

"Dammit!" Chris stomped his foot. "Who unstuck his hands?"

"I did." Courtney told him. "Why? because your mother is insane! She put Zeke in a tub of honey which made him really sticky! So, I had to make him take a shower and then Duncan had to give up his shirt so Zeke could wear it home because his clothes were all sticky!"

"Yeah, I'm really glad I found a girlfriend when I was 15 and moved out!" Chris laughed "I hated my mom, she was always doing obnoxious shit."

Suddenly Heather came running through the door and yelling at Chris and Noah.

"No, No, No!" Heather yelled "Tell Harold to go home! Tell him that we have enough people in this house and we don't need him here!"

"How the hell did Harold even get here?" Noah asked.

"I took the bus." Harold told them. "Zeke's so lucky he gets to do all this fun stuff."

"It's not fun..." Zeke told Harold.

"Can I live here too?" Harold asked. "I'll give you my services in exchange for an awesome room!"

"Yeah, I guess." Chris agreed "I could always use some free labor!"

* * *

**So, if anyone is still reading this, I apologize for kinda forgetting about it.**


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer: Nada.**

* * *

"You can't be serious." Heather told Chris. "Harold took the bus here! He wasn't even invited!"

"Yeah, but he's free." Chris told them. "Harold you can help Tyler drive!"

"I don't drive anymore." Tyler informed Chris. "Heather does because she hates Courtney."

"What?!" Courtney yelled "I'm not going to clean the house with Tyler! He's really clumsy!"

"I'm not clumsy!" Tyler glared at Courtney.

"Ok fine." Chris sighed and rolled his eyes. "Heather can clean the house with Tyler and Courtney can drive! Duncan's still my body guard and Noah is my personal assistant and Harold is Noah's personal assistant!"

"Wait...what!" Courtney got mad. "Noah gets a personal assistant and I get a crappy limo?!"

"So, you want Harold to drive the limo with you?" Chris smirked at her.

"No!" Courtney yelled.

"I don't want Harold either." Noah told him. "I think he's just going to mess everything up."

"Well ya know what?" Chris laughed at all of them. "I don't care what you guys do! As long as I have my coffee in the morning and some scotch before I go to sleep then I'm fine."

"So, you're not going to help us with this problem that you created?" Heather glared at Chris.

"When have I ever helped with a problem?" Chris laughed "I'm going to let you guys decide this on your own! I'm going to sleep!"

* * *

The 6 of them stayed in the kitchen and argued about this for hours unable to decide who was going to do what. Heather was ready to kill them! It was after 11pm and she was getting sick of them all.

"Look, it's simple! Courtney and Harold invited themselves so they should just go home!" Heather yelled at them.

"Why?" Courtney glared at her. "So you can walk away with more money than me?!"

"She already is." Noah rolled his eyes. "Heather and myself are the only two getting paid. Duncan is here because he's running from the law and Tyler's here because he was stupid enough to get on the plane. Courtney, you and Harold are just stupid."

"I...I...don't want to talk about this anymore." Courtney crossed her arms. "You two are just full of shit!"

"At least I have a paycheck." Noah smirked at her.

"I say we do this the prison way!" Duncan told them. "Every man and woman for themselves!"

"What does that mean to the people in the real world?" Tyler asked Duncan.

"It means that we are going to do whatever we want and screw everything up." Noah rolled his eyes.

"That sounds really fun!" Tyler agreed and everyone glared at him except Duncan.

"I agree with Duncan." Heather smirked. "I don't want to scrub floors anymore!"

"Fine." Courtney agreed. "Then we're going to do this our way."

"As long as it gets done, I'm sure Chris wouldn't notice or care." Noah agreed. "I'm in."

* * *

Meanwhile Chris was trying to go to sleep. He still hated his life and his neighbors but he really hated Zeke. Yes, it was mean to say but out of all the contestants that could of had his DNA why the hell did it have to be Zeke? Chris's door creaked open and he knew he wasn't going to leave.

"Zeke, go away." Chris groaned in annoyance. "I'm trying to sleep."

"I can't sleep, eh!" Zeke told him.

"Try harder?" Chris suggested.

Zeke ignored him and climbed on the bed and just sat there. Chris was annoyed and sat up in his bed and turned the lamp on.

"What do you want?" Chris asked him.

"Can you tell me how you and my mom met?" Zeke asked Chris. "I'm sure it was romantic."

"I doubt that." Chris laughed. "I don't remember."

"How long did you date?" Zeke asked him.

"We didn't." Chris informed him. "I was drunk and you're mom was just there...I don't even know what she looks like."

"You should call her." Zeke suggested.

"No." Chris told Zeke. "She went to join the carnival."

"It was the circus." Zeke sighed. "She knows I hate clowns..."

"You're a freak." Chris sighed and laid back down on his bed. "Why did I get stuck with you? You're 16 you should want freedom and shit..."

"Can I have a car?" Zeke asked him. "That would be a good idea for freedom."

"Do you know how to drive?" Chris asked him.

"No, but you can teach me, eh!" Zeke told him. "It could be a chance to bond."

"I don't know how to drive either so fuck that idea." Chris told him. "Seriously, go sleep somewhere else."

"Can I go on the internet?" Zeke asked Chris. "I want to check my facebook! I had 6 friends and 2 unfriended me...I need to figure out who did it."

"Zeke, I don't give a shit what you do." Chris sighed.

"I need real friends, eh!" Zeke told him. "How do I do that?"

"Go force the idiots downstairs to hang out with you." Chris told him. "Better yet, Go to bed and then tomorrow you can force them to be friends!"

Zeke yawned and ended up passing out on the floor and Chris was wishing he could booze it up but didn't want Duncan to know he had booze so he just didn't.

* * *

**There ya go! That's another chapter and Zeke will force people to be his friends! **


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer: Nada.**

* * *

The next morning when Chris went downstairs he found that Courtney was fighting with Noah and Zeke was coloring in permanent marker on the kitchen table. Chris walked over to Zeke and grabbed the marker from him and then smacking his hand.

"What the hell is wrong with you?!" Chris glared. "Don't draw on the table."

"I'm really bored, Eh." Zeke sighed. "I've been waiting for breakfast for almost an hour."

"You've got to be kidding me!" Chris yelled. "Noah and Courtney! Where the hell is the food? Both of you are standing in the kitchen and yet there is no food or coffee in front of me!"

"I made bacon but Courtney wouldn't let me make it and it burned." Noah glared. "I also made toast but Courtney threw it out."

"That's because I'm making breakfast today!" Courtney yelled at Noah. "I called it last night!"

"Don't care who makes it." Chris yawned. "Just someone do it...Now!"

"Fine whatever." Noah rolled his eyes. "Let Courtney do it and I'll just go and check your messages for you."

"Is that secret code for 'going to read a book in a closet' because you need to stop doing that." Courtney smirked. "Reading in the dark will hurt your poor eyes."

"Zip it Courtney." Noah glared as he walked out of the room.

"Breakfast will be ready in 10 minutes." Courtney faked a smile.

"Hey Chris Dad..." Zeke tugged on Chris's robe.

"What?" Chris sighed.

"Can I have some friends today like you promised, eh?" Zeke asked.

"Uh...I guess..." Chris agreed. "If I can take a shower and not have the place destroyed when I'm done then I don't care."

"Can Duncan be my friend?" Zeke asked.

"Whatever." Chris walked over to the intercom. "Duncan! Get your ass in the kitchen pronto!"

Duncan strolled in maybe 10 minutes later give or take and he looked like he just rolled out of bed most likely because he did. He let out a really long yawn.

"Sup?" Duncan yawned again.

"Duncan you're gonna be Zeke's friend today so I don't have to actually do anything or say anything to him today." Chris informed Duncan. "Don't care what you two do or where you two go as long as said activity does not involve me and Zeke in the same room because he's already annoying me!"

"How did you manage to piss Chris off within 10 minutes of being in the same room as him?" Courtney threw a plate down in front of Chris that had scrambled eggs, sausage and some bacon on it.

"Coffee. Now." Chris commanded Courtney. "3 sugars and some milk."

"I was drawing on the table because I didn't have any paper..."Zeke admitted to Courtney

"Courtney I'll need you to clean it." Chris insisted.

"How come Duncan gets to be friends with Zeke and I have to clean up?" Courtney demanded to know.

"Do you really want to hang out with Zeke all day?" Chris smirked at her as Courtney handed him his coffee.

"Uh...Yeah...Not really." Courtney smirked.

"I don't really wanna be friends with him either." Duncan cringed. "Can you just kick me in the balls 7 times and call it a day?"

"No! You get Zeke because I don't want to." Chris rolled his eyes. "I'm not even going to eat now. You ruined my morning, Courtney throw it out and Duncan just get Zeke out of my sexy hair for the day."

"Fine." Duncan grabbed Zeke's hand. "Let's go find something to do."

* * *

Chris took his shower and then when he got out he instantly pressed the intercom and called for Heather. When Heather walked in the bathroom she was semi surprised to find that Chris was naked and his hair was soaked. He was standing in front of the large mirror

"Why did you call me when you're naked?" Heather groaned.

"Heather." Chris pointed to his hair. "The hair is wet! You need to dry it and then gel it for me!"

"You can't be serious..." Heather rolled her eyes. "Please tell me that you aren't serious."

"100% serious." Chris told her. "This kind of hair does not just happen!"

"Can you put a robe on first?" Heather rolled her eyes.

"Can you get me a robe?" Chris winked. "Or would you rather just see all of this?"

"You're disgusting." Heather rolled her eyes. "I'll get a robe just so I don't have to look at that."

* * *

Duncan was sitting in Zeke's room playing with action figures. More like Zeke was playing as Batman and Duncan was supposed to be playing Robin. Duncan hated Zeke for picking this stupid activity and the fact that he was making obnoxious fake superhero noises.

"This is really stupid." Duncan rolled his eyes. "Why can't we do something else?"

"You're just jealous that I'm the superhero and you're my sidekick." Zeke glared. "If you want to do something else then let's do it."

"Good." Duncan quickly stood up. "I want to play basketball. Do you like to play basketball?"

"I guess I can play basketball." Zeke complained. "I won't like it but I'll do it."

"C'mon I'll show you how to play horse." Duncan threw the toys on the floor.

* * *

Noah was trying to check his facebook page in his bedroom and avoid everyone else. It was really hard to not do anything and avoid Chris when Harold wouldn't leave him alone and get out of his room. Harold was reading his facebook conversation over his shoulder.

"Harold go away." Noah finally turned around and glared. "Get out of my room."

"You aren't helping Chris." Harold told him. "Curse your inability to be a decent assistant."

"Curse your inability to leave me alone." Noah sighed. "Serious, get out! Why don't you go and annoy someone else?"

"Like who?" Harold asked.

"Are you really asking me who I think you should annoy?" Noah asked him. "How about Tyler? He could use some driving lessons. Did you know that he drove on the sidewalk the other day?"

"Did he really?!" Harold gasped. "Curse Tyler's inability to safely drive on a rode! There are so many things wrong with what you just told me."

* * *

Courtney was cleaning the kitchen counter when she heard a loud shatter coming from the living room. Courtney ran in to see glass shattered all over the floor and a basket ball on the floor, she started to curse knowing that she would be the one to clean it. Not even 3 seconds later Duncan and Zeke came running through the front door followed by Heather and Chris, who was still in his robe. Noah, Tyler and Harold came running in soon after.

"See Tyler? What if you drove into someone's house like this?" Harold asked Tyler who glared.

"Shut up!" Tyler yelled. "Please shut up! I haven't even been near you for 5 minutes and you make me want to smack you!"

"What the hell happened here?!" Chris yelled.

"I'm not cleaning it." Courtney crossed her arms.

"Me neither." Heather agreed. "I've done enough today!"

"Oops." Duncan awkwardly laugh. "Zeke was the one who threw the ball!"

* * *

**Okay, I really had this urge to write for this fic so I figured as always I would wing it! This chapter turned out pretty good if you ask me. Of course I'm the writer and not the reviewer so it's up to you guys if you like it. I hope anyone who is still reading this really enjoyed this!" **


End file.
